Steven Bomb Z
by Bart-Bart
Summary: Clarence murders Uncle Grandpa and attacks Beach City, so now Steve will have to save Beach City from this evil enemy.
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1**

 **The unexpected attack**

One peaceful July day, Steven Universe taking a nap on the couch after seeing a six-hour marathon of his favorite cartoon called "Crying Breakfast Friends!" which was one of those "random" cartoons kids these days like so much, I guess.

Then, the phone started ringing and Steven said: "Hello? Who is it?"

"Yo, Steven! It's me, Connie, your friend, you worthless cocksucker! What's up, you fucking bitch?"

"Oh, hi Connie!" Steven replied in a very gently manner. "What's up, gal? What have you been up to?"

"I'm fine, thanks… You see, Steven, I was calling you because my parents are going to be the whole day at work and I have nothing to do, so I was wondering that if you're not busy sucking cocks or masturbating to pictures of dead animals, would you like to spend your day with me, so we can go to movies or to the shitty amusement park of the shitty town where we both have to live?"

"Y-You mean…Like a Date?" Steven stuttered as he blushed.

"Ya...I guess." Connie replied.

"Oh FUCK!" Steven thought in those moments. He always liked Connie and the idea to go on a romantic date with her made him to feel very nervous. "Connie wants to go on a date with me! But why if I ruin everything acting like an idiot?...Oh, Come on Steven, you can do this! _You can do this_!"

"Steven? Are you still there, you stupid motherfucker?"

"Yeah, I'm still here, Connie…And I'm not busy sucking…cocks or masturbating to pictures of dead animals (I only did that once, and I was also too drunk to remember most of it btw) so I would love to spend this day with you, Connie!"

"Ok" Connie said. "I'll be waiting for you at home, then. Smell ya later!"

Connie hanged the phone and Steven said:

"YEAH! FUCKING YEAH! Thank you heavens for giving me this chance!"

And then he went to his room and started changing his clothes for his date with Connie: His new outfit basically looked like the same he was wearing before but this time he tied a black bow tie around his neck and he was wearing shoes instead on sandals, because that's what humans usually wear when they are on a date. He also combed down his hair with a lot of gel. The gel kinda smelled like balls, but Steven hoped Connie didn't notice that.

"Well, Connie, here I come…" Steven said to himself, before leaving his house.

"I will be back in a few hours!" he yelled as he left.

A few moments later, Steven arrived at Connie's house and rang the bell.

"Hey, Connie, It's me, Steven! I'm ready for our date!"

Shortly after Steven said those words, Connie opened the door of her house; she was a wearing some ripped jeans and a black T-shirts with the words "FUCK DA POLICE" written on it with big red letters, and she also was wearing a black leather jacket which had a little symbol which represented the USA Flag burning in a bonfire.

"Hello Steven" Connie said in a slightly flirty manner (I know what are you thinking, but she's 19 in this story, you pervs) and Steven blushed because he thought Connie looked really, really hot. (He's 19 in the story too, so he is NOT a pedophile, you dirty-minded fanfiction reader) and then he said in a shy voice:

"Oh, H-Hi…Connie…You look really cool today…"

"Thanks, Steven, I already know that…" Connie replied. "Come on; let's go to the shitty funfair at the dock before the health inspectors close that crappy place…"

The two friends walked towards the place where their date was going to take place: The funfair at the dock was just as shitty as Connie and Steven expected, but Steven didn't care because he was with Connie.

A few hours later, after spending some hours at the shitty funfair where they found a dead rat in one of the food stands and a drunken person without pants inside a bumper car, Steven and Connie decided to go see a movie, so they went to the movie theater where they saw "Only God Forgives" and "Road to Perdition" (great movie btw)

Connie wanted to see the new Hunger Games film but it hasn't been released yet, so they went for ice cream instead.

"Oh, Connie…" Steven said, after giving some licks to his strawberry ice cream. "I've had my share of troubles in the past, but after spending this wonderful day with you, I think I should feel truly blessed...I think that I should be way more thankful with life from now on…"

Shortly after Steven pronounced those words, there was a violent earthquake and fire start falling from the sky in the form of violent meteorites that burnt some building and some people as well.

"WHAT THE FUCK IS HAPPENING?" an alarmed Connie asked, almost choking on her chocolate ice cream.

"I don't know!" Steven replied in an anguished manner. "Connie, I'm scared!"

"We should call the Crystals Gems!" Connie suggested. "I'm sure they'll know how to fix this!"

"But I'm a Crystal Gem too! Maybe I should try to use my shield powers to save our city!"

"Steven, this is no time for your bullshit! We got to ask help from somebody who actually has useful powers, not some "healing spit" bullshit or some pinky-stupid-shield bullshit!"

Steven felt a little bit offended by that last comment, but decided to follow Connie's advice anyway, and she ran with her towards his house in order to ask the Crystal Gems for help while a big part of Beach City was on fire.

"FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUUUUUCK!" Connie and Steven screamed as they did their best to dodge the fire meteorites that were burning the city. Steven some lovable people being horrible burnt alive, and tried to help them using his healing spits, but Connie told them there was not time for that, because most of the victims died almost immediately, being turned into skeletons almost immediately after the meteorites hit them (Kinda like the laser beams from Mars Attack, but it was far more gruesome, like in a Cronemberg movie, but shit happen way too fast and most people was already dead before Steven or Connie could help them)

"Garnet! Pearl! Amethyst!" Steven screamed once he Connie arrived to his home. "Somebody is attacking Beach City and killing everybody! You gotta help us!"

Unfortunately, Garnet and Pearl weren't at home in those moments: The only one in the place was Amethyst, who was watching TV and eating chip potatoes. She was wearing a ripped blue t-Shirt with the words "SMASH THE PATRIARCHY" written on it with sparkly pink letters, and she was also wearing some aerobics tights Pearl used to wear in the 80s but Pearl didn't wear them anymore, so Amethyst was wearing them.

"Yo! What's up bitches?" Amethyst asked once she saw Steven and Connie.

"Amethyst! Where Pearl and Garnet?" Steven asked.

"Oh, those crazy hos went into a mission without me…" Amethyst replied in a somewhat bitter tone. "They said there was some Cthulhu-shit monster approaching on earth from a distant galaxy, so they fused and turned into some fucking butt-ugly abomination to fight against that Cthulhu-shit and told me to wait here in case you need something…I wanted to go with them, but they told me I still don't know how to control my fucking emotions and shit so I was left behind…Oh, I fucking hate them for doing this awful shit to me. But who the fuck they think they are' They also look fucking ugly in their fused form with those rabbit teeth and that shitty haircut…"

"Amethyst, this is an emergency…" Steven interrupted Amethyst. "Where is my pink lion? We need his help to save the city?"

"That fucking bastard is right there…" Amethyst replied, pointing a corner of the kitchen. "Probably licking his own genitals like a motherfucking cat or dog, the dirty motherfucker… I don't know, I rarely interact with that dirty motherfucker, but if he doesn't mess with me, I don't mess with him… That's the unwritten rule of Amethyst…"

"Look Amethyst, Beach City is under siege! Some kind of evil motherfucker is burning the buildings and killing everybody! We need your help to fight against this horrible menace!"

"Ok, ok…" Amethyst replied with annoyance. "Just stop screaming…Oh, gee, I guess I will have to change my clothes to go on a fight…"

Amethyst then used her magical powers to change her clothes and she was now wearing some black ripped pants, some silver shoes with a golden star engraved in them, and a sparkly sweater with the words "SMASH THE PATRIARCHY" written in golden sparkly letters.

"Ok, now I'm ready… Let's do this shit" Amethyst said and she, Steven and Connie rode on Steven's Lion ready to protect Beach City, but then somebody knocked up the door.

"I will open!" Amethyst said, and she opened the door.

Outside the house there was a very nervous man, wearing a gray suit covered in blood. He had a black eye, and looked really scared, as if he was trying to run away from something.

"Mayor Dewey!" Steven exclaimed, very surprised. "What the fuck are you doing here?"

"Oh, Steven!" he replied, as tears fell down his eyes. "I don't even know what the fuck is happening, but people start dying and shit and buildings were burn down! And the worst part is that the surviving citizens think this is somehow my fault! That horrible, crazy old lady is instigating the citizenship against me and started throwing stones at my houses and now they are ready to crucify me….They literally want to crucify me, I saw them making a big wooden cross with name written on it! Steven, YOU GOTTA HELP ME!"

"Mayor Dewey, Connie, Amethyst and I will do our best to protect the city! We were just ready to go fighting against the motherfucker that is burning down our city…"

"Please, take me with you, Steven!" The mayor begged. "Even if you defeat this unknown enemy, the people will kill me, because that old hag has convinced them that politicians are responsible of every single fucking bad thing that happens in their damn shitty lives! You have to let me go with you!"

"Ok, but stop crying like a bitch, cos is pathetic…"Amethyst replied, and Mayor Dewey jumped on Steven's Lion.

Shortly after this improvised team leave the house, another rain of fire started to happen and Amethyst used his magic powers to dodge that rain of fire…

"Who the fuck are you?" Steven demanded to know. "Show yourself, motherfucker?"

An evil cackle started sounding from behind a black cloud. Steven thought the voice sounded suspiciously familiar and then a grotesque silhouette emerged from the black cloud and jumped on earth, making the ruins of Beach City tremble with each one of his steps.

"Who the fuck are you?" Steven asked again, before having the chance to give a better look at his enemy: It was a very fat bald man, wearing a black leather jacket and blue shorts with blue tennis shoes. Two of his teeth emerged from his mouth, making look like some kind of disgusting human walrus.

"Oh, fuck!" Steven exclaimed, once he recognized his enemy.

It was Clarence! From the show "Clarence"!

 _TO BE CONTINUED…._


	2. Clarence is a fucking asshole

**Chapter 2**

 **Clarence is a fucking asshole**

"Clarence!" Steven screamed. "What the fuck are you doing here? I thought you were dead!"

As a response, Clarence giggled in a malevolent way and then added:

"I used to be dead, motherfucker, but my good friends Jeff and Sumo made a deal with the Devil to make me return from hell, so I could finally achieve my goal to exterminate the human race! And maybe some animals I don't like, like blobfishes and Chihuahuas!"

"Motherfucker, you take back! Chihuahuas are awesome!" replied with anger, before trying to punch Clarence in the face, but Clarence stopped his fist with only one of his fingers, and then punched Steven in the face, leaving him with a black eye and some wounds in his forehead.

"Ha! Do you like the taste of my fist, you little motherfucker?" Clarence asked in a taunting manner.

"Fuck…" Steven said, after spitting some blood. "Clarence is now way stronger than I remembered…Fuck!"

And then Steven spit more blood, while Clarence just laughed.

"Of course I'm stronger now, dipshit…Do you actually believe that somebody who came back from hell won't came back at least 10 times stronger, manlet? Also, I trained like a fucking bastard before invading this suck city. Shortly after I was revived, I visited the Pokémon world and I killed all the Pokémon's. I also visited Pony world and killed all the ponies except for one which was kinda cool (AN: You see, there is a fanfic called "All the Ponies are gone" or something like that, I don't read shit like that, but I know the premise of that story because somebody recommended it; in that story all the ponies are killed except one, what actually happened is that Clarence killed all the ponies and only one survived) I also visited Uncle Grandpa world, and guess what I did, you dirty motherfucker! "

As he finished that sentence, Clarence shows Steven a black bag like those one for trash or used by the criminals to hide the corpses of the people they killed and then Clarence put his hand inside the bag and took out something…

It was Uncle Grandpa's head! From the show Uncle Grandpa!

The head had an eye missing and somebody has written the words "slut" with big red letters on the forehead.

"NOOOOO!" Steven exclaimed. "NO, UNCLE GRANDPA!"

"I killed this motherfucker while he begged me for mercy. Before that, I forced him to give me a blowjob and then I killed his friend in front of him and raped their corpse. I raped his corpse too (That is why he has one eye missing, I removed his eyeball like in the movie Hostel and then I raped the fuck up his empty eyeball, and I also urinated inside his eyeball, so now his skull has both my urine and my semen…Basically I made him my bitch before he was dead…And after he was dead. I made him my bitch 24/7. And you will have the same fate, Steven Universe…You and your friends…I will kill you, remove one of your eyeballs and I will put my semen and my urine inside your eye sockets."

"YOU BASTARD!" Steven exclaimed, full of Anger and righteous hate. "How the fuck you could something so horrible?! And to think I thought you were better than that!"

"Well, you thought wrong, bitch! And now you'll become my bitches too, and I will force to give me blowjobs before I kill you and I'll remove one of your eyeballs, so I would be able to urinate and put my semen inside your eye sockets, stupid cunts…"

Clarence was ready to smash Steven's head using Uncle Grandpa's head as a weapon, but then Amethyst used her whip against Clarence, wounding his face.

At first, Clarence made a pain exclamation, but then he started to moan, as he was sexually aroused, and in fact psychical pain somewhat made Clarence feel aroused, that sick motherfucker.

"You shouldn't have done that, you purple tramp…" Clarence said as he licked the blood in his lips. "I'm having a boner right now, and when I get a boner, people usually die. "You'll be the first one to die…Then I will remove your eyeballs, and I will fuck your eye sockets and I will pee on them, like I did with Uncle Grandpa!"

"No!" Connie said, as she pulled a gun from one of pockets. "I won't let you do that!"

Faster than the Flash, Connie started to shot her gun at Clarence, wounding her head, stomach and testicles. However, Clarence just laughed, and regenerated his damage body as he was a Terminator.

"Bitch, you think some simple bullets would be enough to stop me? I came back from hell, you twit. Bullets don't affect me…"

Clarence extended his right hand towards Connie, ready to remove one of her eyeballs, but THEN Steven exclaimed: "NO! STAY AWAY FROM CONNIE, YOU SICK FUCK" as he tackled Clarence, using his shield in a similar way Captain America used it to fight in the Avengers films directed by Joss Whedon. "I won't let you hurt her, you disgusting piece of shit! Stay away of her! Stay away of her, you fucking shit-eating asshole!"

Steven used his shield to smash the head of Clarence, smashing it repeatedly into a repugnant, almost unrecognizable mush of blood and flesh, but Clarence just laughed. However, before Clarence could regenerate, Amethyst used her whip to throw Clarence remains far away, hoping that give some time to escape.

"Come on, Steven! We have to escape right now!" Amethyst said, taking Steven and Connie by the hand.

"But…What about Beach City?" Steven asked. "We can't let this dirty mofo take over the place! He will kill everyone!"

"Steven, as much as I hate to admit it, my powers are not enough to stop this dirty motherfucker! We need Garnet and Pearl!"

"But…"

"STEVEN! This is not time for your bullshit! Come with me!" and then Amethyst added, while looking at Connie and Mayor Dewey "And I guess you should come with us too, if you don't want to die!"

"But where are we supposed to go?" mayor Dewey asked.

"Fucking shit, just stop making stupid questions and LET'S RUN AWAY!" Amethyst remarked, and the others decided to obey her without making more questions, riding on Steven's Lion back. Amethyst then whispered something in lion's ear, and the pink feline started jumping towards a distant place in the horizon.

"YOU FUCKERS ACTUALLY BELIEVE I WOULD LET YOU RAN AWAY SO EASILY?!" A furious Clarence exclaimed from the bottom of the sea where he had fallen... That's what the moment when Clarence used his demonic powers to transform into a giant hermaphroditic monster with 4 boobs and 10 dicks which flowed acid instead semen. The 4 boobs were filled with acid too.

"DIE, YOU FUCKING CUNTS!" Clarence exclaimed as he expelled a rain of acid from his 4 boobs and 10 monster dicks: The acid destroyed several buildings in Beach City and also killed at least 300 people, included Nanefua Pizza, who was crushed to death by one destroyed building (lol, I never liked that character so I don't care.) However, Lion was faster than Clarence's 10 dicks and 4 boobs, and some moments later, Clarence had to accept the fact his enemies had escaped from him…For now, at least.

"SHIT! SHIT! SHIT, DAMMIT!" Clarence bitterly exclaimed as recovered his human form, meeting his two evil allies, Jeff and Sumo.

Jeff and Sumo were Satanist and they now had a lot of evil tattoos in their arms and shoulders, and each one of their evil tattoos was able to summon legions from hell. Sumo also had an swastika tattooed on his chest, because he was a neo-Nazi now, but he always hated the Jews because he was raised by racist and hateful parents who oftenly mistreated him. This is why he also hated Joshua, because Joshua was jew.

Jeff also had a robotic eye now and a robotic leg too, because he transformed into a cyborg after surviving an explosion 3 years before he became a satanist.

"I can't believe those dirty shitbags were able to escape…" Clarence exclaimed with anger. "I'm so fucking angry right now I think I could blow up the moon just to vent up my anger…"

"They'll have to come back…" Jeff said. "This pathetic city is now under our control, so those dipshit will have to come back to save their dipshit friends…"

"Yeah, that's true, Jeff…" Clarence said. "I guess we will have to wait for them to come… It's about time!"

"Do you want me to kill the survivors, masters Clarence?" Sumo asked. "I'll do it with pleasure."

"Nah." Clarence replied with disdain. "Just killing those poor dipshits won't be as fun as slowly torturing them to death. Besides, if one of those survivors is good-looking, it will be a good chance to satisfy my increasingly violent carnal desires…"

"Yeah, ok, whatever. " Sumo said. He was impatient to kill everybody in the city, because he hated most people in general. He even killed his entire family and offered their blood to the devil after he became a satanist.

"Okay, let's get this party started!" Clarence exclaimed with enthusiasm, ready to torture few survivors left in Beach City.

 _To be continued…_


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

 **The plan to revive Zordon**

 **Meanwhile, far away from Beach City…**

"I can't believe Uncle Grandpa is gone…" Steven said with sadness. "He was not only my mentor, but also my best friend. Now he is dead and his skull was horribly desecrated…"

"He was too good for this sinful earth full of sinners…" Amethyst remarked with sadness. "But we will avenge his death, little buddy…We will defeat the dirty motherfucker that killed him and we will make him pay for all the innocents (and not so innocent) lives he destroyed with his assholery! I personally will crush the skull of that mofo with my own bare hands, and then I will force him to eat his own innards! FUCK THAT SON OF BITCH, FOR KILLING OUR DEAR FRIEND UNCLE GRANDPA!"

"Ok, Amethyst, please calm down…" Steven said.

"Amethyst…" Connie asked.

"What? What now?"

"Where are we going?"

"Oh, yeah. I haven't told you yet where are we going…"

Amethyst remained silent for a couple of minutes while her partners wait for a response.

"AMETHYST!"

"What?"

"You haven't told us anything! Where are we going?"

"Oh yeah, about that…Well… (AN: Amethyst then burped like a drunk old man, I think this goes with character, I dunno) well, we are going to another planet bitches…

"What?"

"WHAT?!"

"What the fuck?" Mayor Dewey exclaimed. "I can't go to another planet!"

"Oh, stop whining pendejos…The only way to save Beach City and this planet is going to another planet!"

"But why? Are we going to star some kind of intergalactic search for Garnet and Pearl?" Steven asked.

"No…" Amethyst replied. "As crazy as this sound, not even Garnet and Pearl would be able to stop a menace like Clarence…No, Steven, we will need something more violent and amoral to deal with this menace…Something even more powerful than a fusion…"

"You mean…Something like a Super Fusion?" Steven asked with a very stupid expression on his face as his eyes sparkled and his irises took the shape of two little stars. He looked like a moron.

"I'll pretend I didn't hear that, Steven…" Amethyst replied. "No, Steven. Nobody is going to fuse…No this time. Instead of that, we will have to do something else…"

"And what are we going to do?" Connie asked.

"We are going to visit an old friend…An ally of the Crystal Gems during the war days. His name is…Zordon!"

Connie and Steven gasped.

"But I thought Zordon was dead!" Steven said, remembering the tragic incidents that took place on Earth a few years ago, when he was still a magical gem toddler: The Earth was under siege and the Rangers had to fight a desperate fight to save our planet. The crystal Gems fought in that battle too. Millions died, and several cities were destroyed and lost forever, but the battle ended with the triumph of the forces of good thanks to the heroic sacrifice of Zordon, who gave his last breath of life to purge out the evil space invaders. Some of them were purified and turned into humans, but most of them were turned into dust because they were too evil to be purified. At the end, the battle was won, but the price was too big.

"Yeah, I remember that, too…" Mayor Dewey remarked.

"While Zordon's physical body was destroyed, his soul returned to his homeplanet Eltar, in order to find a new body host to become the mentor of a next generation of Rangers…

"But there is already a next generation of Rangers!" Steven said. "And they don't have Zordon as their mentor…"

"Well, I guess they'll very shitty Rangers,then…" Amethyst replied with indifference.

"Oh, Fuck!" Steven exclaimed nervously.

 ** _*Meanwhile, back at Beach City…_**

This happened:

Clarence summoned a demon army to reunite the survivors left in THE RUINS OF Beach City: There were at least 125 survivors and Steven's dad called Greg was among them. Fortunately for him, Clarence didn't know he was Steven's dad, because if he had known that, he probably would have killed Greg and then he would have removed one of his eyeballs to put his dick inside his eye socket.

"Okay, bitches…" Clarence said, once all the survivors where gathered at the parade ground of Beach City. They all looked sad and depressed, it was a very depressing scene like the scene in the Hunger Games where the blonde little girl was chosen for the next Hunger Games and everyone looked sad and depressed and were too scared to say anything. "This is what we are going to do: From now on, I'm your king, and all of you have to worship the ground I walk, and treat me as your god. Therefore, I have free reign over all your virgins (This includes male virgins, btw) and your credit cards. This suck city belongs to me now, and I will do whatever I want with it…"

"Fuck you, scumbag!" exclaimed one of the survivors. "We won't accept any of your bullshit, FUCKING SHITLORD!"

"Oh, I see…" Clarence said with a big grin on his creepy face. "I see your point perfectly well, and allow me to respond you in the following way…"

As a response, Clarence decapitated the old man with a single punch, and stepped on his skull repeatedly, until the head of the old man was turned into a bloody mess while the other survivors witnessed the whole scene with a horror expression on their faces. Many of them felt sick by watching that, and some even throw it up.

"Anyone else wanna be a hero?" Clarence asked in a taunting manner. "If that's the case, then allow me to remind you that I have entire legions from hell under my control, and I could use them to wipe you from existence…"

Clarence made a little gesture with his hands towards Sumo, and Sumo then invoked several demons using his evilly magic tattoos. People were terrified of seeing those creatures from the underworld walking on earth. Some people even fainted by the mere sight of those horrid creatures which were far more disturbing than Freddy and the Cenobites combined with the Cloverfield Monster.

"You won't get away with this, you fucking BASTARD!" a young woman exclaimed.

"Who said that? Who dares to defy me?" Clarence asked, frowning.

A short, slightly chubby woman with pale blonde hair made her way through the crowd:

It was Sadie.

"Oh my God, Sadie what the fuck is you doing? Are you fucking INSANE?" A skinny guy with a strange haircut and earrings said while he was trying to stop Sadie before she tried to confront Clarence.

"Let me go, Lars…This is none of your business…" Sadie said as she walked towards Clarence. "I'm not afraid of this shitty asshole motherfucker…"

"Well, well, what we have here?" Clarence asked in a seductive. "Why such a lovely lady like you speak in such rude terms?"

"Oh, go fuck yourself, swine! You think you can destroy my city, kill my neighbors and still try to hit on me in the presence of my boyfriend? God, you are so fucked up you fucking bastard…"

"Boyfriend?" Clarence asked, and then he paid attention towards the wimp that was at the right side of Sadie, who looked terrified, and even tried to hide behind his girlfriend.

"Oh, stop being a bitch, Lars!" Sadie grumbled. "Instead of hiding behind me like a total wuss, you should be fighting to defend my honor of this disgusting pigface fucker!"

"But Sadie, I can't do that! He is going to kill me!"

"FIGHT FOR MY HONOR, YOU FUCKING COWARD! You are going to die anyway, so better die like a man, or I will kill you with my own hands!"

"But Sadie…"

"WITH MY OWN HANDS, LARS! MY OWN FUCKING HANDS!"

Clarence laughed at them. Under other circumstances, other people would have laughed too, but they were just too terrified.

Jeff and Sumo didn't laugh because they thought the scene was just not that funny.

"What's so funny, dipshit?" Sadie asked, with a very angry expression on her face.

"I think is just too sweet you act like you have a chance to defy me…Despite the fact I already won this battle…"

"You haven't won shit, motherfucker!" Sadie answered. "The Crystal gem will stop you and they will kick your ass back to hell!"

"The Crystal Gem? Hah!" Clarence replied, before laughing.

"And now why you laugh, asshole?"

"The Crystal Gems have abandoned you, Beach City. Two of those fuckers tried to fight me for a moment, but decided to run away when they realized I was too much for them… Your heroes have failed you…"

"No! That's impossible!" Sadie exclaimed, with tears in her eyes.

The rest of Beach City was just as shocked as she, especially Greg, who couldn't believe his son abandoned him to die in that place.

"This can't be true! You are lying!" He screamed in a desperate tone.

"I'm many things dude, but I'm not a liar…And I saw with my very own eyes how the Crystal Gems abandoned this suck city to its fate…"

"No…" Greg muttered. "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

"Yes." Clarence said. "And like I said before, this city is now mine. All of you are my bitches now. No exceptions."

Clarence then started laughing evilly and punched Greg and some other guy in the face just because he could.

What a fucking bastard.

 _To be continued…_


	4. Clarence is still a fucking asshole

**Chapter 4**

 **Fuck, you Clarence! Now It's Personal**

 **Far away from Beach City, at the Grand Canyon in Colorado…**

"Oh fuck, we are in Colorado!" Connie said. "Why are we here? I thought we were going to space?"

"That is exactly what we are going to do, Connie! Just watch! WATCH!"

And then Amethyst grabbed Steven, Connie and Mayor Dewey and made them look inside the Grand Canyon, but they didn't see anything.

"I don't see anything at all" Steven said.

"Look again, then." But before you look, I must do this!"

And then Amethyst licked her fingers and put them over the eyes of Steven, Connie and Mayor Dewey.

"Hey, what the fuck" Mayor Dewey said.

"Is this some kind of sick fetish, you sick fuck?" Connie asked, visibly enraged.

"Amethyst, why did you do that?" Steven asked. "Do you have healing saliva like me, or what?"

"No, my little pendejo" Amethyst replied. "But my saliva does have some magical powers that allow you to see spirits and invisible things and all that shit."

"If you had that power why you never used it before?" Steven asked.

"I only got this power 2 years ago, and Pealr forbid me to use it on you, cos she thinks it is gross, but I think is not, cos saliva is natural shit and all that, sistah."

"I agree with Pearl…" Mayor Dewey said. "Putting your saliva in the eyes of other people is not cool."

"Um, yeah whatever." Amethyst replied with disdain.

"Ok, now we have the magical saliva in our eyes, what are we supposed to see?" Connie asked. "OH SHIT, I see it now!"

What Connie saw some kind of starship alien spaceship, which look like a jellyfish and was decorated with several sparkly stars, most of them rose-colored, because it was Rose Quartz who built that spaceship.

"Shit! Was this thing here the whole time?" Steven asked.

"Yes, but you could not see it before because it was invisible, but now you can see it because you now have my saliva in your eyes, kiddo."

"Amethyst…"

"What now?"

"You told us you got your magical saliva powers two years ago. If you didn't have the magical saliva, how you and the others were able to find this spaceship before?"

"Because Garnet has a third eye that sees magical stuff and shit, remember that Steven?" Amethyst replied. "She used her third eye to hide and detect her invisible stuff and sometimes she and Garnet came to this place to kiss each other and have hot Gem sex, the crazy hos…They went here and had lots of sex, but they never invited me to go with them, the crazy hoes…But they are still my friends too…"

"Did…Did my mom went to this place too?" Steven asked.

"Yes, she also went to this place, and she also had a lot of sex with Garnet and Pearl. Lots of sex. Lots of it. Sometimes she even asked Garnet and Pearl to fuse in front of her and then she asked them to have hot gem sex with her, and sometimes she fused with Garnet or with Pearl to have hot fusion gem sex, the crazy ho. But why do you ask me this? Is because you want to know about the hot gem sex your momma used to have here with Garnet and Pearl and with Garnet and Pearl in their fused form? Is because of that? Because if it is because of that, I would say you are one sick fuck mothafucka Steven, asking me about the hot gem sex his mother used to have in the Grand Canyon…"

"I just wanted to know." Steven replied in a shy voice.

"Well, Steven, you are one sick fuck mothafucka for wanting to know about the hot gem sex your momma used to have here, but I still love you despite that. I guess that deep inside you have the personality of a crazy ho…"

"Thanks…I guess."

"Ok, now that things have been cleared up, let's go inside the spaceship where my crazy hos friends used to have hot gem sex to go to Eltar to find Zordon!" Amethyst said.

"Ok" the others replied. "Let's GO! "Let's get out of here!"

Amethyst then started pressing some buttons in the control panel of the spaceship, but nothing happened.

"What the fuck?" Amethyst said, and then she pressed more buttons but nothing happened.

"Amethyst… Is there anything wrong?" Steven asked.

"YES." Amethyst replied with anger. "Now I remember that Pearl and Garnet changed the access code of this fucking spaceship shortly after Rose kicked the bucket…I mean, after she gave up her physical form to bring Steven into the world (or some shit like that) because they didn't want me to see the videos they recorded here of them having hot gem sex inside the spaceship, the crazy hos…"

"Great…So we came here for nothing!" Connie screamed with frustration. "All is fucking lost and the fucking Clarence won! That motherfucker!"

"So now what are we going to do, Amethyst?" Steven asked.

Amethyst stayed silent for a couple of moments, lost in her thoughts. Then she started sucking her thumbs while making weird, slightly suggestive sounds that made the others feel uncomfortable, as if they were witnessing some kind of abominable stuff they were not supposed to look at. So they decided to go to their respective happy places inside their mind in order to not think about Amethyst sucking her thumbs in a suggestive manner, and this is what they saw:

 _Steven:_

Steven imagined himself dressed as a Disney princess and then being married to a muscular prince that looked like Connie and who was shirtless all the time. Steven and the shirtless prince that looked like Connie went to the beach, bought some ice cream, then they went to the cinema to see "The Fault in Our Stars" and "Divergent". Back at their home (Which was a pink castle in the middle of a mint-colored meadow filled with wild flowers and butterflies with sparkly wings. Some pink unicorns with golden horns witnessed how Steven and the shirtless prince started making out in front of the castle, until they were naked and started to have sex in front of the unicorns and the other animals that lived in the meadow that looked like they were from a Disney movie from the 40s.

"Oh, Prince Connie, fuck me harder! I want you to penetrate me!" Princess Steven Universe said while Prince Connie was fucking him in the ass, and gave him a good slap that made Steven feel horny.

(Steven is kinda bi, lol)

 _Connie:_

Connie imagined herself as a the ruler of a post-apocalyptic wasteland who was wearing a very cool dominatrix outfit and in her dream she also had half of her head shaved and who had at least 50 sex slaves (Steven was one of her sex slaves too, and she had him with a belt as if he was her dog) and she laughed as she sexually humiliated them, putting black leather didoes inside their anuses, bitchslapping them, and force them to masturbate in front of her, while she watched with an evil grin on her face, while Steven was at her side crying and Connie forced Steven to do a sexy dance for her while he removed his clothes. Steven cried while he was removing his clothes and Connie said:

"Cry all what you want, fucking son of bitch! I like you more when you cry and beg for mercy, fucking manlet!"

"But Connie that is so mean!" Steven cried pathetically.

"Shut the fuck up while I lick your tears and I masturbate you against your will! Your precious manlet tears of pain and humiliation! Oh yeah, how much I love the tears of pain and humiliation!"

Then Connie transformed into a vampire and started sucking the blood of her sex slaves, including Steven.

 **Mayor Bill Dewey:**

This is what Mayor Dewey dreamt while he was trying to ignore Amethyst sucking her thumb in a suggestive manner:

He was a sheikh with 60 wives and all of them looked like Pearl except with big boobs and none of them looked at all like his actual wife.

"Oh, Mayor Dewey…" One of the Pearls said in a very seductive manner, as she caressed the chest of the mayor. "Do you want me to talk again about how big is your cock and how much I love sucking it before giving you another fellatio?"

"Yes. Yes, please. I'd like that."

Then Pearl started talking about how big Mayor Dewey's cock was and how much she liked to suck it, and then she sucked it.

And that's it, nothing more happened during his male power fantasy dream cos Mayor Dewey wasn't very imaginative, and he was more into vanilla sex.

Back in the real world

Amethyst had stop licking her fingers in a suggestive manner and had an idea, but the others were too distracted with their own perverted fantasies, so Amethyst had to slap them in the face:

"Stop dreaming, you stupid motherfuckers! I have an idea now; I know what we should do!"

"What we should do?" Steven asked, as his irises turned into stars. He looked like an idiot.

"Okay, people, listen, this is what we are going to do: We are going to remove our shirts and we are going start making out with each other and then we are going to have some hot sex right here to compensate all those times Garnet, Pearl and Rose didn't let me be part of her hot gem sex parties!"

"What? No, Amethyst, we are not going to do that!"

"Ok, ok, you can keep your T-shirt while we are making out and having sex…"

"No! Nobody is going to make out or have sex right now, Amethyst! We have to save Beach City!"

"Fine!" Amethyst replied angrily. "Let's leave the hot gem sex for later! But then don't complain when this crazy adventure turns boring, Steven! DON'T FUCKING COMPLAIN, STEVEN! JUST FUCKING DON'T!

"Okay, Okay I won't complain when the adventure turns boring! But what we are going to do to activate this spaceship to go to Eltar?"

"And why the fuck do you want to go to Eltar, Steven? That planet is so fucking boring, and it's all a fucking desert, kinda like Mars, but less cool…"

"You told us that we will find Zordon in Eltar and that he will help us to save Beach City from Clarence!"

"But Zordon is dead, Steven…"

"BUT YOU TOLD US THAT HIS SPIRIT WAS STILL ALIVE IN ELTAR, AMETHYST! YOU FUCKING TOLD US!"

"Oh yeah, that shit…Sorry, sometimes I tend to forgot stuff…You know, all the beers and drugs I take to cope with my depression for not being invited to the hot sex gem parties made by Garnet, Pearl and Rose…Oh, those crazy, crazy hos get on my nerves so many times…"

"Is this fucking conversation going somewhere?" Connie asked. "Cos I'm kinda tired, so I'm going to take a sit right there while you keep arguing like a pair of fucking idiots…"

And then Connie sit down in some kind of futuristic couch that look like it was made with some kind of living tissue, but Connie didn't mind that, she just sit down the couch and accidentally activated some kind of secret mechanism that somehow made the spaceship to blast off and BOOOOOOM! Suddenly Steven, Connie and the other motherfuckers were launch into space inside the spaceship.

"CONNIE! What the fuck did you did?!"

"'I don't know, Steven! I just don't fucking know"

"Oh shit!" Mayor Dewey exclaimed before threw up. "Fucking hell, this is the worst fucking day ever. Just the worst."

"Yay!" Amethyst exclaimed, laughing maniacally. "We are going to Eltar and we are going to meet motherfucking Zordon! Yay!"

"No offense, Amethyst but now I kinda see why my mom, Garnet and Pearl didn't want to invite you to their sex parties!"

"They didn't, cos they were crazy hos, that's all the explanation I need, Steven!"

 **Meanwhile, back on planet earth…**

This was happening on Beach City:

Clarence, Sumo and Jeff had taken control over Beach City and the few survivors left became their slaves. Clarence forced them to wear ridiculous and humiliating outfits nobody would wear under any normal circumstance. Some of them were even forced to eat some shit like the tortured kids from salo or the 120 days of Sodom.

The only one who was spared to eat shit was Sadie, which was forced to wear a sexy odalisque outfit that left nothing to the imagination. She didn't want to wear that shit, but Clarence menaced her with killing Lance and her mother. However, she still refused to accept the disgusting sex offerings Clarence made to her.

"Come on, babe…" Clarence said one morning. "Once you get to know me you are going to realize the kind of dreamboat I am. I'm like Christian Grey: Powerful, sexy, I know what I want, and I also get sexual pleasure by pulling tampons out of women's asses. I also enjoy pulling tampons out of men's asses too, but that's a completely different matter…Come on, babe, let me see your boobs…"

"Don't touch me!" Sadie exclaimed defensively. "Are you unable to see I'm just not attracted to you?"

"Darling, soon you are going to realize any kind of resistance is futile…No woman (or man) of this world is able to resist my incredibly sex-appeal and gorgeous charisma…"

"Ugh!" Sadie exclaimed, with visibly disgust, turning her back on Clarence.

"I see…You are playing hard to get… Come on, darling…Just accept you have the hots for me and I will bang you like no other man has banged you before and everyone's happy, ok?"

Sadie didn't answer anything, but she seemed visibly annoyed and disgusted by Clarence's advances on her.

Clarence then pulled out a ukulele he had stolen from Steven's house and started playing it:

"Listen this, Sadie! I made a song for you! This song is going to make you wet yourself in pleasure! I call this song 2The song that made Sadie wet herself!" Here we go!

 _I don't care_

 _I don't care_

 _About you_

 _Your interests_

 _Your dreams_

 _I don't care_

 _I don't care_

 _About you_

 _As a person_

 _About you soul_

 _About your mind…_

 _I just_

 _I just_

 _Want to fuck_

 _I just_

 _I just_

 _Want to fuck_

 _Want to fuck_

 _I just_

 _I just_

 _Want to fuck…_

(In the ass, yeah.)

"And the song is done, what do you think babe? Have you wet yourself in pleasure already?"

"You disgust me!" Sadie replied, angrily. "You are insane if you think I will have some kind of intercourse with you, because that is not going to happen!"

"Oh yeah, bitch? Well, if that how things are going to be, you better say goodbye to your dipshit cuck boyfriend and your shitty mom and grandpa, cos I'm going to execute then tomorrow!"

"No, please, don't do that!" Sadie begged, and then Clarence said:

"If you don't want to see your dipshit boyfriend and your dipshit family beheaded by tomorrow (And you know what I will do their skulls) then you are going to make me your new boyfriend, and then you are going to marry me!"

"But…But…"

"Yeah?"

"But marriage is a very serious decision! You need to give me some time to think about that! That is what a good boyfriend would do!"

"Okay, I will give you some time…You have 72 hours to marry me. If by that time you haven't made your choice yet, your dipshit boyfriend and your dipshit family are dead meat. DEAD FUCKING MEAT. You hear me?"

"O-Ok…"

"Good…See you in 72 hours, then!" Clarence said before leaving. "If you're looking for me, I'll be in Steven's house, painting some obscene graffitis over the walls and forcing some dipshits to eat their own excrement and drink their own urine…I do that kind stuff only because I can, but keep in mind they will suffer more because of you, dear Sadie. If you only let me to explore your curves, their suffering will be shorter and far more less painful…Keep that in mind while you take your decision…"

Than Clarence left and Sadie started crying.

"What I will do now?" she asked herself and started praying to the Lord for a miracle to happen.

While this was happening, the spaceship where Ateven, Connie, Amethyst, Mayor Dewey and the Lion were travelling finally arrived To Eltar, but the travelers were left unconscious because the intergalactic journey was too much for them and they needed to rest.

Some shadows walked towards the spaceship…And one little shadow entered inside the spaceship before Steven and the others wake up.

 _To be continued…_


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5: The Fist**

 ** _Warning: This chapter contains some smoking and drug use, and also contains the use of some controversial symbols related with satanism. As the author of this story, I just want to clarify I don't support satanism in any form, but I needed to include those kind of stuff to reinforce Clarence's evilness._**

 _ **Hope this clarifies things ;)**_

 _In planet Eltar:_

"Oooowwww, my head…" Steven mumbled as he slowly regained his senses.

He had a terrible headache and wanted to vomit blood, but he didn't do that. "What the fuck happened? Where are we?"

"I think we are…In another planet." Connie replied as she woke up. "Holy fucking shit, we are in another planet Steven, what the fuck!"

Then she and Steven thought they will vomit, but they didn't do that. Instead of that, they started walking in a funny manner cos they were dizzy because all the messy space travel and tried to wake up the others.

"Amethyst! AMETHYST! Please, wake up!" Steven said as he shook the unconscious Amethyst.

"Steven, you are doing it wrong!" Connie intervened. "That's not how you woke up some unconscious asshole! Look man, you slapping is way too soft. You need to slap the unconscious dipshit harder!"

And then Connie started slapping the unconscious Amethyst with all her inner strength that was left on her body, as she screamed the following words:

"WAKE UP! Wake up, Amethyst, you fucking piece of purple shit! Wake up before I fucking kill you!"

Then Connie got tired of slapping Amethyst, so she started punching her.

"Stop, Connie! Stop! You are hurting her!" Steven said as he tried to stop Connie's increasing anger, but she put him away as she shrieked:

"Back off, you fucking piece of milquetoast! I'm trying to REANIMATE an unconscious person here, don't lecture me about my behavior!"

"But Connie…"

"Look Steven, if you wanna be helpful, start slapping Mayor Dewey on his fucking face until he wakes up. Or just punch and call him motherfucker as you do that…"

"Okay, I will do that…"

"Don't forget to call him motherfucker as you punch him!"

"Ok!"

While Connie was punching Amethyst on her face (Connie even head-butted her and called Amethyst a Jammerlappen lol) Steven was ready to punch Mayor Dewey in the face in order to make him to wake up from his unconsciousness but he punched him very softly and he even sound gentle when he called Mayor Dewey a motherfucker because Steven was very polite and had a thin voice like he was a small kid, but he was 19 in this story.

"Steven, what the fuck are you DOING? " Connie demanded to know, with an angry expression on her face. "You call that a punch? You have to punch that son of bitch harder if you want to make him to regain his senses!"

"Connie, I'm… I'mnot really sure about this…"

"Punch him harder, you little jammerlappen (lol)! PUNCH HIM HARDER, OR I WILL BE THE ONE WHO WILL HAVE TO PUNCH HIM! And then I will have to punch you…"

"But Connie…"

"HARDER STEVEN! YOU HAVE TO PUNCH HIM HARDER! And also you need to call him motherfucker as you do that. Otherwise won't look as badass as I am."

"Well, Connie…If you say so…"

But even at that moment, Steven had some doubts. Because respected Mayor Dewey almost as he respected his father. Also Mayor Dewey and his dad used to be a couple and they even had sex and went on vacations together for a couple of months. They broke up because Mayor Dewey could not forget Pearl and decided to stay as friends, but they still had some sex from time to time.

When his father revealed this to Steven, he was shocked and surprised by this, but he was not angry, because Steven was kinda bi too and he was able to understand what his father felt when he and Mayor Dewey went on vacation together and promised to be respectful with Mayor Dewey for having sex with his dad. So punching him really hard was a though call for Steven.

"Okay…Here we go…"

"Just punch that damn motherfucker in face, Steven… _Just punch him_ …With all the strength of your heart and mind…"

Steven sighed and thought in many things that made him angry, like One Direction or when TV shows tried to make references to memes that stopped being funny at least five years ago, and reuniting all his anger, he was finally able to make the first decent punch hit of his entire life, breaking the nose of Mayor Dewey as he screamed:

"Take this, motherfucker!"

"EUUUGH!" Mayor Dewey said, as he regained his consciousness, feeling the taste of his own blood falling down from his broken nose to his lips. "What the fuck! Why is my nose broken? Oh fuck, it hurt so much…"

Steven felt bad for breaking the nose of Mayor Dewey, but then he had the idea of using his magical healing saliva to heal the broken nose.

"Don't worry Mayor Dewey, I can fix this!" Steven said, and then he licked the broken nose and Mayor Dewey was all "Ewww, what the fucks are you doing kid, that's gross!" but then his nose was immediately healed and even looked better than before. He looked at least 5 years younger with his new nose, so Mayor Dewey said:

"Oh yeah, I forgot you were able to do that, hah hah!"

"Hah hah, indeed!" replied Steven they both laughed like morons.

"But that still doesn't explain why you broke my nose on the first place, Steven…"

"Oh yeah…About that…"

But before Steven was able to make a proper explanation for his last action, some mysterious hooded guys entered the spaceship pointing laser guns to Steven and his friends, and one of the hooded guys said:

"Don't move! Don't move or we will shot this laser guns to your face!"

"Hands up! Put your damn hands where we could see them or we will shot our lasers to your damn faces!"

At first Steven and the others acted like they were going to obey these orders, but then, before those mysterious characters could react, Connie did a fast kungfu movement that allowed her to kick the laser guns from the hands of the hooded guys and Steven tackled them graciously. They were so shocked by this unexpected reaction that Mayor Dewey had enough time to kick the hooded guys in the balls making them to fall down to the ground, screaming in pain while they grabbed their groins.

"Now let's see who's beneath the hood!" Steven exclaimed, before unmasking their mysterious attackers.

And when he did that, he and others gasped, because they couldn't believe what their eyes were seeing:

The mysterious attackers were Mr. Gus, Tiny Miracle and Giant Realistic Flying Tiger! The best friends of Uncle Grandpa! ( **AN:** Pizza Steve wasn't with them cos he died a long time ago, because Amethyst ate him.)

"Oh dear…" Steven said with disbelief.

 _Meanwhile, back on Planet Earth…_

Sadie still had 64 hours left to decide if she was going to marry Clarence or not. She didn't want to do that, but didn't have a choice: If she rejected Clarence, then he will start torturing her boyfriend Lars and her mom. However, Sadie considered that having to live as Clarence's mistress could be something worse than dead, so she decided that her only choice was killing herself.

"If only I had a knife or gun to put myself out of my misery…" Sadie sighed. She could not even try to escape because Clarence chained her to the walls of her prison-room, where she had to stay until she made her decision. "I swear, this fucking worst summer ever. If only I had just moved to Canada when I had the chance…"

Since her hands where chained, she couldn't try to choke herself, so instead of that she hit her head on the wall, hoping the hit was strong enough to kill her, but it only left her unconscious.

Meanwhile, Clarence was having his breakfast in Mayor Dewey's office. A few moments ago, he redecorated the whole in order to make it look far more decadent than it actually was, defiling the pictures that were hanged there, painting dicks and profanities over them.

Clarence also replaced Mayor Dewey's mahogany desk with his throne, which was made of dead Pokémons and their trainers. During his breakfast, Clarence ate some Pokémon eggs he stole from Pokémon world when he was there, and drank the blood of some of the people he murdered, because the demon that lived inside him was also part vampire and liked the taste of blood like most evil beings.

"I'm bored now. I guess I will start another genocide to amuse myself…" Clarence said, before using his demonic powers to travel to another dimension. He travelled to the Beyblade world, the Monsuno world, the Dinosaur King world, the Chaotic world and the Bakugan world, and murdered almost everyone there. He kept some of the monsunos to use them as a part of their army, but killed everyone else, and he sexually abused the corpses of each one of his victims. He decorated his new office with the naked corpses of Tom Majors, Tyson and Chase, and named this collection of corpses as "Clarence's whores" because could still abuse them, even after their deaths.

Clarence did not feel any remorse for killing all those poor schmucks and said to himself their world sucked anyway so it was ok for him vanishing them from existence. However, he was still bored, and Sadie still had 52 hours to announce her final decision, so Clarence decided to see what were Jeff and Sumo doing: That is how he discovered they were celebrating a sadomasochistic orgy with a Nazi theme.

"You fucking bastards!" Clarence said, as his eyes went all big and shiny, almost as he was an anime character. "How dare you to celebrate a bondage Nazi party without telling me about it?"

"Look, Clarence…" Jeff replied "We were going to tell you about this party, but you were so upset because your almost girlfriend rejected you or something, so we thought you were not in the mood for this. Later, when we tried to talk with you again, you weren't at your office, so we started our party anyway…"

"Okay, first of all Sadie is not my "almost" girlfriend. She is my future bride. We are made for each other, is just that she hasn't yet realized I'm the man of her life, and she definitely would be happier with me than with his wimp boyfriend. Second: she hasn't rejected me, she is just thinking about my marriage proposal…And I gave her 72 hours to think about that, before I kill her and everyone she loves…And third: What the fuck, let's enjoy this party together makes her mind about marrying me or not! Woo-Hoo!"

"Okay Clarence, but you need to get more appropriate clothes for our little fete, my dear friend…

Then Jeff ordered one of his demon servants to take Clarence to the dressing room: There Clarence changed his regular clothes for a more provocative Nazi bondage outfit made of black leather with some silver ornaments which had some satanic symbols, like pentagrams, goat heads and the hippie symbol of peace which is actually an inverted and broken cross, thus making it a disgustingly Satanic New Age Illuminati bullshit.

"Damn, I look so fucking sexy right now! Time for some humping!" Clarence exclaimed as he came out of the dressing room.

"You look gorgeous, master…" the demon servant said, while secretly wishing he could be just as evil as Clarence was.

In the party some people from beach City and some other people kidnapped from other cities by the demons were stripped naked and chained. Among them there was Harold Smiley, Greg Universe, Kevin Time, Jamie and some other guy whose name I don't remember, but he appeared in the episode "Garnet Universe" (I didn't like that episode very much but whatever) among others.

Jeff and Sumo had much fun giving lashes to Harold and Greg and forcing them to walk in 4 legs like they were their dogs ( **AN** : Those two motherfuckers were actually frustrated because their shitty parents didn't buy them a dog when they were kids, so this was the vindictive way in which they dealt with their pathetic frustration lol) and forcing them to suck each other's dicks against their will and then forced them to lick each other wounds and assholes.

Jeff and Sumo were turned on by their own sadism, so they started making out and had sex while a sexy jazzy music played on the background.

Then the music turned all techno and sinister, but Jeff and Sumo keep fucking while the demons started smoking pot and marihuana, and other illegal drugs like crack, they sniffed from the stomach of the humiliated survivors from Beach City.

It was a very decadent party, where kids were forced to do drugs (AN: I don't think kids doing drugs is ok, but Clarence is a force of evil in this story, so he obviously wanted to drug kids to corrupt them)

Then Clarence started whipping Harold, Jaime and Greg, and he ignored Kevin Time because he knew he was a narcissist, and by ignoring him, he was psychologically torturing him, by making him to feel less than the others.

Once he was done with the whipping, Clarence licked the blood of his whip and then he noticed Harold Smiley was crying, filled with pain and humiliation, so Clarence decided to lick his tears to feel the enjoy the taste of the sorrow Harold was suffering.

"Hey dude, please don't cry. I have decided that no matter what happens, I will keep you alive…"

"What? Why?" Harold asked.

Clarence giggled evilly, and instead of answering, he introduced three of his fingers inside Harold's butthole, making him scream in pain.

"AEOOOOOOOW!" Harold screamed, and then he screamed more, as Clarence introduced his entire fist inside his anus. "AEOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWWWW! IT HURTS! IT HURTS SO MUCH!"

"What did you say?" Clarence asked, in a taunting manner. "Does this hurt you?"

Harold needed a few moments to answer, because the pain he was feeling during those moments just too intense.

"Stop! Stop please!" Greg begged, but Clarence just kicked him away, ignoring his pleas.

"Do you want me to stop, Harold?" Clarence asked, with sadistic glee. "Answer me, or my fist will go deeper…And deeper…"

Harold Smiley breathed heavily and then he formulated the following answer, as several tears fall down his face:

"YES! YES! PLEASE STOP, OR I AM GOING TO DIE!"

Clarence smiled again with cruelty, and with a quick but still painful movement, removed his fist from inside the anus of his victim, who started sobbing as a baby.

"Do you want to know why I decided to keep you alive, Harold?" Clarence whispered to ear of his victim. "It is because your tears of pain are so delicious to me, it would be such a shame to miss them forever…"

Once those words were said, Clarence licked the tears from the face of Harold Smiley.

"Oh yeah, this so fucking great. My dick is so hard right now…" Clarence said, and Harold and others just cried with impotence before Clarence licked their tears too.

"We're going to do this every day, all day...until it becomes as natural as breathing thing for all you…" Clarence added in a triumphant manner. "Yes. All of you will come to need it...like the air you breathe motherfuckers…Like the air you breathe…"

The demon DJ then replaced the sinister techno music with another relaxing jazz song while Jeff and Sumo continued with their sexy time and the other demons servants continued having sex and doing more drugs. Some of them even created new drugs using their hair and blood, it was literally the most satanic party ever on earth.

 _To be continued.._.


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6:**

 **Robo-Peridot**

 _In planet Eltar:_

Once Mr. Gus, Tiny Miracle and Giant Realistic Flying Tiger felt better after being kicked in the balls by Mayor Dewey, they had the chance to explain their situation:

They actually were the only survivors (along with Aunt Grandma) of the big destruction massacre committed by Clarence in their world a few days ago, in which that evil bastard blew up their entire planet just for kicks.

"However, before our world was destroyed, Uncle Grandpa used his last strength to save us from the destruction wave created by Clarence…He used his magic belly bag, and it sent us to this barren planet, where we surviving eating insects and lizards…" explained Mr. Gus, with crystalline silver tears in his manly reptilian eyes. "Oh man…I can't believe Uncle Grandpa is gone! He was good, so pure of heart, and now he is dead! He was my friend, he was like an angel and now he is dead! HE IS DEAD! FUCK! I SEE HIM DYING IN FRONT OF MY EYES, AND I COULD NOT SAVE HIM! THE ONLY REASON OF WHY I AM ALIVE IS BECAUSE HE SACRIFICED HIS PRECIOUS LIFE FOR ME! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! HOW I AM SUPPOSED TO GO ON KNOWING THAT? HOW?

Mr. Gus then fell on his knees, and started punching the floor with rage and despair, as he whispered the following words:

"Seriously…How? How can I live with myself after letting myself die like that? How? Fuck, somebody answer me something!"

Steven sighed and then he tried to comfort the crying dinosaur man.

"There, there, you Mr. Dinosaur…

Steven, Connie and Mayor Dewey exchanged a look of discomfort.

"Gee, man, calm down…" Connie said, trying to comfort Mr. Gus. "I understand you are upset about your friend dying (and his skull being fucked and urinated by Clarence) but come on! Life goes on! I mean, Uncle Grandpa was a nice fella, and all that, but come on! Come oooooon, Mr. Gus…He wasn't _really_ that great…"

"THE FUCK YOU SAID, BITCH?" Roared Mr. Gus, as his bloodshot eyes opened wide. "THE FUCK YOU SAID, ABOUT UNCLE GRANDPA, YOU FUCKING DICK-LICKING CUNT? YOU BETTER TAKE IT, YOU DIRTY TRAMP! YOU FUCKING TAKE YOUR WORDS BACK, OR I WILL FUCKING TEAR YOUR FUCKING FACE OFF, YOU FUCKING HARLOT! IM GONNA KILL YOU! AND GONNA KILL YOUR FAMILY! AND THEN IM GONNA REVIVE YOU WITH BLACK MAGIC, TO KILL YOU AGAIN, FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT! YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE GIRL!"

Steven, Mayor Dewey, Tiny Miracle and the Giant Realistic Flying Tiger had to stop him, because the big green dinosaur was ready to rip Connie's head off.

"IM GONNA KILL YOU WHILE YOU SLEEP, YOU FUCKING DIPSHIT! YOU HEAR ME? IM GONNA KILL YOU IN YOUR SLEEP, LIKE A FUCKING REPTILEAN FREDDY KRUGGER! IM GONNA FUCKING RIP YOUR HEAD OFF AND IM GONNA EAT YOUR SKIN, YOU FUCKING CRETINOUS ASSHOLE GIRL!"

"Easy, man!" Steven exclaimed nervously, as he grabbed Mr. Gus by the tail (His only weak point) "Connie really didn't mean what she said about Uncle Grandpa! Right, Connie?"

"Steven, I…"

"RIGHT, CONNIE?"

Connie sighed, and then she said in her most humble tone of voice:

"Okay, whatever. Uncle Grandpa was a saint, a fucking angel, the Mother Teresa of the cartoon world. He truly was the noblest soul of our time, probably of our entire century, and probably he is now at the right side of the Lord, of something…"

Those words calmed down Mr. Gus a bit.

"You better believe that…You better believe that, or I…"

"You'll kill me, I know. You already said that."

"And also…"

"You'll kill my family too. And eat my skin. I already know that, too…"

"Well, then…Okay. Okay. Just, let's forget we had this conversation. Capisci?"

"Yeah. "Capisci". Or whatever. I just don't fucking know."

Mr. Gus blushed a little (When he blushed his face turned a bit blue instead or red, because a dragon. Or a dinosaur. Or a dragon dinosaur) and said:

"Uhh…Sorry for all those things I said. I was upset. Sorry."

"Yeah, ok."

"I mean… I'm not going to kill you while you sleep. Or kill your family. Or eat your skin. I only said those words because I was angry…"

"It's Ok man. Whatever. Or what the fuck…"

"Good…So…We are…We are fine now, right?"

"Yeah, I guess so…"

"…"

"…"

"So…What was your name again?"

"Connie. Connie Maheswaran Guevara Estevez."

"Oh. I'm Mikhailovna Mikhailovna Marmeladova . Nice to meet you!"

"I already know you…You actually…Actually were my favorite character from your series. You were my first cartoon crush…"

"Really?"

"No, not really. But I think you were cool anyway…"

"Oh…"

"I still consider you're a cool guy, Mr. Gus…You just need to…Control yourself a little bit…"

"I promise I will…control myself in the future. I swear"

"I hope so…I mean…I believe you"

Then they both started giggling nervously as idiots. Steven looked at Connie with disbelief.

"Damn it, Connie. **_Just Damn it_**." Steven said. "Fucking damn it."

"Eugh, my head…Who the fuck is making all that fucking noise?" Amethyst said as she woke up.

"Amethyst! You finally woke up!" Steven exclaimed enthusiastically.

"About time, you fucking prick." Connie said, crossing her arms.

"Steven…Who the hell are those wishy-washy whippersnappers that are inside our spaceship? Do you know them? I don't know them, but their fucking faces piss me off. Tell those whippersnappers I want them to fucking leave our spaceship!"

"Amethyst they are not whippersnappers! They are Uncle Grandpa's friends! So that means they are my friends too! We should help too!"

"Ay no mames" Amethyst replied as she put her hand on her face. "My head hurts. I feel like I have a hangover right now. I don't even fucking know why, but I am not in the fucking mood for arguing right now…Just tell them to stay out of my way. Ok?"

"Ok, Amethyst."

"Steven, you are good kid. Here, take my bra…" Amethyst said as she removed her big bra and gave it to Steven.

"Eh…Thank you, Amethyst."

"You deserve it, boy. You fucking deserve that bra more than me. Now continue being a great boy, and give some cold beers. I need a fucking drink right now, especially with those fucking whippersnappers in our spaceship…"

"Ok, Amethyst…"

"That's my Steven. Good thing you are not a crazy ho like Pearl or Garnet…"

"Amethyst, we are in planet Eltar now!" Connie intervened. "But the planet is a big fucking desert. How are we supposed to Zordon here?"

"Zordon who? Oh yeah that guy. Yeah. He was dead but his spirit was alive or whatever…Well…To find him…We need to find someone else first…"

"Who?"

"We need to find… **The Nightcrawler**." (AN: Is not the Nightcrawler from X-Men in case you were thinking in that. Is another kind of Nightcrawler. An original characters created by me, he never appeared in the series before.)

"Who the fuck is the Nightcrawler?" Somebody asked.

"The Nightcrawler is some kind of superpowered beast. Like a legendary Pokémon, but better, because he is alive, unlike Pokémons, who are all dead now. (Because Clarence murdered them, remember that?) He lives somewhere in one big fucking jungle of this fucking planet! The only jungle of this planet, but that jungle is big enough as the Two Americas! And Australia, even!"

"What? There is a jungle on this planet?" Mayor Dewey asked. "But you told us that this planet was almost entirely a desert!"

"Look man, I tend forgot some stuff sometimes! What do you think I am? A fucking Mac? The important thing is that we are here, the place where are supposed to be. Here."

"Okay, how we find this "Nightcrawler"? Steven asked, as he gave Amethyst a cool German beer from the fridge. ( **AN: The Spaceship had a special fridge to keep the beers and cigarettes the Crystal Gems had for their hot gem sex parties** )

"Is very simple, I have something planned…" Amethyst replied, and then she took a few sips of beer and burped. Her burps were as strong as the growling of two boars making love. The smell of her inner air was terrible, almost toxic even. Mr. Gus feel sick and Mayor Dewey vomited, but Steven was used to that smell.

"Well?"

"Well what, Steven?"

"What is your plan to fight the Nightcrawler, Amethyst?"

"Oh, is very simple…Steven remember when Peridot finally got her redemption and became a good gem?"

"Oh yeah, I was so happy! But I kinda forgot about that a few months later…I wonder what happened to Peridot…"

"It was all a lie, Steven. A dirty lie."

"What?"

"We lied to you, Steven. Peridot wasn't redeemed, or anything like that. She was a dickhead, and her head was so full of shit, so we had to lobotomize her in order to make her good…"

"WHAT?!"

"Yeah…We kinda…Kinda replace her brain with a fake one. Made of plastic and metal and some other shit like that. And we also had to replace some of her inner organs. We have to do that, because Garnet beat her so much that at the end of the day, she was turned into a big red mush. Garnet removed her spine and used it as a xylophone. It was fun, damn it."

"You…You…Fucking murdered Peridot?" Steven asked with disbelief.

"Yeah, but we fixed that. A little. We turned her into some little cyborg…Kinda like a Frankestein monster. But she was better that way. Instead of legs, she got some wheels. And she got a new spine, made of wires…"

"You told me she looked that way because she used her gem magic to transform into a monster because she was a fan of monster movies of something like that…And then…Then she disappeared forever, and you told me she went to live to another planet…"

"Yeah…That was a lie too…We keep her inside this ship, as our little robot butler. At first it was fun, but we got tired of her. Really, really tired of her…She whined a lot, always saying emo stuff like "please kill me" or "end my pain now…" you know, all that crap. Emo crap. Anyway, since we got tired of her, at first we thought to drop her into some space blender to remove her valuable organs but then Pearl was all like "Gee, guys, I don't know, murdering her will be too cruel, if we murder her, we will be like her" and other shit Batman says when someone asks him why he never kills the Joker. So we did the more merciful thing and put them inside a locker, and forgot she ever existed on first place…Wanna see her, Steven? Steven?"

"I think it was too much information for him to handle…" Connie said, looking at Steven. His eyes were entirely white, and there was foam on his mouth. He looked shocked and appalled beyond belief. Then he fainted.

"You almost kill him, dipshit…" Connie said, putting Steven on a stretcher. What the fuck where you expecting, you know he is like a Carebear! What kind of messed up shithead informs a Carebear about the fucking war crimes you did in the past? What the fuck Amethyst? Seriously, what the fuck is wrong with you?"

"It seems he was not ready to learn the truth…" Amethyst said. "Today I learned sometimes truth could hurt people you very badly. But I told him the truth, only because I have trust on him…However, when he regains his senses, please tell him that whole thing about peridot being murdered and then being turned into a Frankenstein monster was just a dream…Do it for me, Connie…For Amy, your favorite gem who is not a crazy ho like Pearl or Garnet…"

"Yeah, whatever… I don't even know why you informed us about all that sick shit you did to Peridot in the first place…"

"Look, my plan was to use cyborg Peridot to find the jungle where the Nightcrawler lives. Once robo-Peridot finds the jungle, we will try to find the Nightcrawler lives, and then we will find Zordon. And then we will ask him for help and then he will help, and then we will kick Clarence's ass back to hell and this fucking idiotic adventure will over. Are you ok with that?"

"I'm okay with that. But only because I'm so fed with all this bullshit happening recently…"

"Good. Let's use robo-Peridot then…"

Amethyst then took her big bra, and took a golden key from inside it. That key opened the door where robo-Peridot had been trapped during the last years. Amethyst noticed that the fleshy parts of robot-Peridot had become nothing more than skull and bones with time, but her robotic parts were still functioning, so Amethyst used a remote control and used her as a radio-controlled aircraft to explore Planet Eltar, which was much bigger than Earth.

A few hours later, robo-Peridot found the jungle, and Amethyst operated the spaceship to travel there, taking Aunt Grandma with them. (She was hidden in a cave in a nearby area, along with the agonizing Belly Bag of Uncle Grandpa.

Amethyst wanted to use robo-Peridot to find the Nightcrawler, but a pair of jungle monkeys started throwing rocks at her, making it fall into a tar pit, where robo-Peridot disappeared.

"Well, shit. Now we will have to find the Nightcrawler by our own means…"

Connie made the sign of the Holy Cross and then she whispered:

"Rest in peace, Peridot. Amethyst can't hurt you now…"

Before exploring the dangerous jungle of Eltar, the team decide to have their lunch and wait until Steven regained his senses.

"Remember, Connie…Don't tell Steven a single word about what happened to Peridot…Ok?"

"Yeah, ok. Whatever. You are crazy, bitch. _Craaazy_ …"

"You are good girl, Connie. Here, have my panties…"

And then Amethyst removed her panties and gave them to Connie.

"What the fuck I am supposed to do with this shit?" Connie asked.

"Kept them, they will gave you good luck, I promise."

"Fucking crazy bitch." Connie thought to herself.

 _To be continued…_


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7:**

 **The Nightcrawler**

A few hours later, once our heroes were done with lunch and when Steven finally regained his senses, the whole team was ready for the search of the Nightcrawler.

"I feel weird…" Steven said, once he finally regained his consciousness. "I had a very weird dream where Amethyst gave me her bra and told me she and the others tortured and killed Peridot and turned her into a zombie…Then everything faded to black and the next thing I remember was me being in the middle of a big pile of naked men having sex and licking each other while some unicorns where spreading milk through their phallic horns…"

"That was just a dream, Steven..." Amethyst replied. "Why would I give you my bra? You just don't deserve it…"

Then Amethyst idiotically winked her right eye to Connie and Mayor Dewey, like saying: "Lol, this motherfucker doesn't have a clue". Connie and Mayor Dewey cringed so hard, but continued acting naturally.

"Yeah, I guess so…" Steven replied submissively. "I guess I'm just not worthy of such of kind of gift…But the part when Amethyst told me about all the bad things the gems did to Peridot felt very real…So real I could swear it actually happened!"

"Steven, you offend me!" Amethyst whined in a very annoying manner. "I feel honestly shocked and appalled about the mere fact that you could even consider we, the crystal gems, the defenders of planet earth, could do something as repulsive and morally questionable as torturing other gems, even if they are evil gems…What do you think we are? The wardens of Guantanamo Bay during the days of the War on terror? (Then Amethyst idiotically winked her right eye again to Connie and Mayor Dewey, like she was saying: "See how clever and satirical I am? I am the Michael Moore of the Crystal Gem world!" Connie and Mayor Dewey cringed so hard again that they felt physically ill for a couple of seconds. )

"Enough of this bullcrappery…" Mr. Gus Intervened, with his eyes sparkling as crystalline diamonds under the bright sunlight of a hot summer day. "Now that we are in this fucking jungle, we need to find the Nightcrawler, so he could lead us to Zordon…"

"Yeah, how we are going to do that?" Aunt Grandma. "At least do you know how that Nightcrawler looks like?"

"As a matter of fact, I do. He and I are very close friends…We dates a few times, and we even had some hot interspecies sex a couple of times…Really, really hot interspecies sex that defied the laws of nature and morality from our world and others…"

"Wait a second…" Connie interrupted Amethyst. "So you not only know this so-called Nightcrawler, but also had a close relationship with him…"

"I won't go so far as to say we are _really_ close, but we had hot interspecies sex a couple of times…"

"Okay whatever, so this Nigthcrawler thing is your friend and all…"

"We are more than mere friends, Connie. We had hot interspecies sex a couple of times… Really, really hot interspecies sex that defied the laws of nature and morality from our world and others…"

"Yeah, I heard you the first time. But my point is…If you already know this motherfucking Nightcrawler thing…At least you should know a way to communicate with him so he could come to us, instead of having to search for him in this motherfucking wide jungle…"

"Yeah, about that…He actually gave me some special alien communicator so we could met again to have more hot interspecies sex, but the thing is…I forgot the communicator in home…"

"WHAT?"

"Oh, come on!"

"For Christ's sake!"

"Damn it, Amethyst. Just damn it…"

"Hey, stop looking me in that way, you fucking judgmental assholes. You think you are better than I am? Is easy to forget a lot of stuff when a lot of weird shit happens every single day of your fucking lifetime, and is way easier to forgot a lot of stuff when you took so many drugs as I did in the past…BUUUUUUUUT I can fix this. I can fix this, bitches. I will fix this, bitches. Just wait and see…"

Then Amethyst came out of the spaceship and used her magic to change her outfit to a sexy Tarzan outfit that allowed everyone to see her crab-filled gem cavities, making Mayor Dewey and Mr. Gus to vomit in shock and disgust.

"Amethyst, what the fuck are you doing?" Steven asked with a worried voice, and Connie made that Scheibenwischer gesture to indicate that she thought Amethyst went nuttier than before, but then Amethyst replied:

"Stop making stupid questions, you non-believers! The only way to attract a sexy beast like the Nightcrawler is by doing my sexy twerking in the middle of the jungle! Then he will come to me, attracted to the vivid smell of my sexy sweaty half-naked gem body… "

"Amethyst, of all your fucking idiotic plans, this has to be the most idiotic one. This jungle is fucking big as the whole African Continent, no fucking way the fucking Nightcrawler will see you shaking your fucking mammoth ass…"

"He doesn't need to see my booty!" Amethyst replied while still twerking. "I know my man, and my man likes my booty so much that his mind my ass have a psychic connection you wish you could have with your fucking boyfriend! Besides, what kind of supernatural being would resist having a taste of this booty?"

Then Amethyst slapped one of her buttocks with her right hand, making it shake like gelatin and Mr. Gus and Mayor Dewey vomited again, while Connie and Aunt Grandma felt dirty just by the mere sight of that thing Amethyst was shaking during those moments.

"Amethyst, not even Cthulhu will put his tentacles on that thing!" Connie exclaimed.

"I am afraid she is right…" Mayor Dewey added, once he stopped vomiting. "I am your friend and I appreciate you, but you are a fucking delusional moron if you believe your backsides could attract anything else than repulsion!"

"Sorry guys...I can't hear you over the sound of how awesome I am." Amethyst replied and continued twerking in the middle for a couple of hours, scaring away several animals and other alien beasts that could not be exactly classified as animals.

Steven and others got boring and started playing card games, reading comic books and doing some other shit inside the spaceship in order to avoid looking at Amethyst deeply disturbing twerking dance which lasted a couple of hours, until they heard some weird animal growling and then they heard Amethyst screaming so they went to see what was happening, thinking that Amethyst was in danger. However, she was not in danger, instead, she was just having sex with the Nightcrawler, which was a huge beast that looked like a Megatherium americanum.

"Hi, I am the Nightcrawler!" He said, before continuing having sex with Amethyst.

"He says he will take us with Zordon once we are done fucking…" Amethyst declared triumphantly, a few seconds before the others started vomiting after witnessing such shocking scene and they all mentally blocked the memory of that incident for the rest of their lives.

Meanwhile, on earth more Clarence's douchebaggery was happening, since he was bored to wait Sadie's decision about marrying him or not (Clarence ignored Sadie was still unconscious on the dungeon where he imprisoned her, so he decided to go the Yokai Watch dimension and murdered all the Yokai and murdered Nate Adams, and the other kids as well, putting their naked beheaded bodies as decoration for his office and then he made a law to make Chihuahuas illegal on Beach City, putting all the Chihuahuas lovers (Like Greg) on work camps where they were forced to watch The Big Bang Theory on weird machines that made them to keep their eyes open like in The Clockwork Orange, hoping that will lead them to insanity.

"You know, Sumo…" Clarence said, while smoking a cigarette on his throne made of Pokemon and Yokai corpses. "After doing all those killing and committing all those interdimensional genocides, I thought I will happy with myself…But for some reason, I kinda feel empty. I guess this time I should try to explore more my spiritual side…"

"So…What are you going to do? Read the Bible and start praying or something?"

"No…No. That is way too mainstream for such a complex dude like me. I need something a bit more…exotic…Something from Hollywood. Like scientology, the illuminati or some shit like that."

"But Clarence, I thought we already were Satanists…"

"Yeah I guess so…Whatever. I don't even know what the fuck I am saying. I am high as fuck, Sumo. High as fuck…This is some sweet chronic, man…"

"So…What are you going to do now?" Jeff asked.

"Gee, I dunno Jeff. I am high as fuck and I kinda feel inspired. Spiritual and inspired…But also high as fuck. I could try writing some poetry or made some painting with my own shit, or some weird shit like that…"

"Are you going to do that?" Jeff asked.

"No…Probably not. But I will force my slaves to do that for me. Especially Harold Smiley cos I like seeing crying. Seeing him crying makes my cock hard, so hard you cannot even imagine, Jeff…Shit, I am high as fuck, Jeff. So fucking high…"

"With all respect, Clarence… Shouldn't we prepare ourselves to fight against Steven Universe and his dipshit friends? I mean, they will came back eventually…Maybe with new powers…Maybe with some kind of alien army…In any case, we should be ready to crush them to death…"

"Oh, Jeff..You are so fucking boring. So fucking boring and square. Like your head…Heh, like your head… (Get it? Cos your head looks like a fucking square) I am not afraid of Steven Jewniverse or whatever he is called…And you know why? Because I am the boss, man. The fucking boss. Like, Eminem, or that other guy from that movie with Vin Diesel…I don't remember the name of the guy, but I am totally like him. That guy and I are like twins…If only I could remember his fucking name… Hey Sumo, remember the name of that fucking guy from the fucking Vin Diesel movie? I guess it was "Diablo" or something…"

"Sorry, I don't watch shit like that…" Sumo replied. "Hollywood conformist bullcrap sickens me…"

"Yeah. Whatever. I am like the Vin Diesel Guy. The Diablo Guy…"

"Clarence, I don't see the fucking point of anything you said…" Jeff intervened. "I know you are high as fuck and shit, but you should not dismiss my suggestion to prepare ourselves against Steven Univer…"

"Shh. Just Shh, Jeff…" Clarence hushed Jeff. "Jeff, like I say before, Stephen Universe could try to do whatever he wants against me, he won't be able to defeat me. I will kick his ass, then I will make him to remove his clothes, and put him on chains and I will put my fist and a live guinea pig inside his asshole like I did with Harold Smiley. And you know how I know I will be able to do all that shit? Cos I am the boss, man. The fucking bosss, man…Like… Like, Eminem, or that other guy from that movie with Vin Diesel…

"But Clarence…"

"Shh. Just Shh, Jeff…" Clarence hushed Jeff again. "Listen, Jeff, this is what we are going to do…You and Sumo are going to use your devilish magic powers to resurrect some Pokemons and Yokais, and then, we are going to fuck that. Yeah…We are going to put our dicks inside those things. We are going to put our dicks inside those dipshits and we are gonna like it, and they will like too, cos our dicks are that good, Jeff. Fucking good dicks, Jeff…"

"But C-Clarence…Clarence… Why should we…"

"Shhh, Jeff. Shhhhh. Just shhhh and let me finish. We are gonna revive those dead pokemons, we are gonna fuck their reanimated corpses, our dicks are going to like that, they are going to like that…and theeen…Theeeeen…Guess what we are going to do then, Jeff!"

"What are going to do then, Clarence?" a deeply annoyed Jeff asked.

Clarence giggled. Then, he answered:

"We are going to kill them again. We are going to kill them again, after fucking them….Just because we can. And then… (Man, I am high as fuck) We are going to revive them again, fuck them again…Or we will fuck them again while they are still death…Whatever, our dicks are going to like it…"

"Clarence…You can't be serious, man."

"Oh come on, Jeff. Like you never wanted to do that…Man, if you never wanted to kill a Pokemon, and then resurrect them with black magic, and then fucking it after that, and then fucking killing it again, you a didn't have childhood. You didn't have a fucking childhood, man…"

Jeff and Sumo looked at each other.

"Clarence, I guess we will let you to sleep for a while…Then we will try to talk with you again…"

"Yeah, when you stop being high as fuck…"

"Oh come on, guys! How can you say no to some good Pokémon fucking? How could you?"

"Clarence…"

"Come on, guys! Come on!"

"Clarence…"

"Come ooooooooooooooooon, guys!"

"See ya."

Then both Jeff and Sumo left Clarence's office, and Clarence felt bored again, so he started masturbating until he fall asleep for the rest of that afternoon.

"Fucking, Jeff. So fucking square…" Clarence said to himself, before falling asleep.

 _To be continued…_


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8:**

 **The New Rangers**

Once The Nightcrawler and Amethyst were done fucking each other, The Nightcrawler guided Steven and the other dipshits towards the holy land where they expected to find Zordon's spirit: It was a crystalline floating palace made from some unknown minerals that only existed on planet Elthar, and it was surrounded by four halo-like rainbows that gave the place a more dreamlike ambient.

Steven and his dipshit friends were totally impressed by the mere sight of such heavenly place, like the filthy plebs they were, and they were left speechless for a couple of minutes until a mysterious voice coming from inside the palace called them:

"Please, came in! We have been waiting for you, brave warriors…" said the voice, and the whole group was carried by the Nightcrawler inside the crystalline palace that belonged to Zordon's spirit.

Inside the palace there were a bunch of figures dressed with white and silver cloaks, and some of that people were old but they were all good-looking anyway: They were the wise men of Elthar, and some other allies of Zordon, including Dulcea from planet Phaedos, Dimitria, Ninjor, and Dulla, who was the twin sister of Dimitria and who also used to be the villain Divatox, that almost killed all the Rangers and forced them to go to space to survive. But she was purified by Zordon's wave (at the end of Power Rangers in Space) and she was good now.

"Greetings, warriors from planet earth…" said a deep voice that came from inside a big floating crystal which was big enough to contain an elephant, maybe two. There was a light inside the crystal, and that light was Zordon's spirit.

"Zordon, you gotta help us!" Steven said with a note of urgency in his voice. "The Earth is in danger and it needs you again to protect it from an evil enemy!"

"I know, Steven…" Zordon's spirit replied serenely. "At the moment when you made eye contact with the magic crystal that contains my spirit, I was informed of the whole situation…Hmmm…That Clarence kid is some fucked up dude, but he is not invincible. Somebody needs to kick his fucking fatass really hard…"

"Agreed, but who is going to do that?" Connie intervened, while snapping her fingers in a very sassy manner. "The bastard has some motherfucking demonic power and some motherfucking demon servants on his side…And also his pyscho Nazi friends have some motherfucking demonic powers that could make even motherfucking Rambo will crap his underpants in fear…"

"Maybe we could ask the current Power Ranger team for help…" Steven suggested.

Zordon's spirit and the others chuckled at this suggestion.

"Nah…" Zordon's spirit replied. "These losers are currently busy trying to find "the lost galaxy" or some shit like that…I don't know, I never cared that much about them anyway. They are not cool as Jason, Tommy, Andros, and the other cool dipshits…But I agree that something needs to be done about this Clarence motherfucker…And I will do it now…"

Suddenly, the whole crystal palace was covered by some bright silver light and everyone had to put some black sunglasses on their faces for protection.

"Zordon, what the fuck is happening?" Dulcea asked. "What are you doing?"

"Are you going to fight against this motherfucking Clarence kid?" Ninjor asked.

"Cool!" Steven exclaimed enthusiastically, doing that annoying star-thing with the irises from his eyes again. Connie and the others thought he looked like a total moron, but they were used to that by that point of their lives.

"No, dumbasses…How I am supposed to fight if I don't have a fucking body? Who you think I am? Fucking Pazuzu, or any other fucking demon that could possess kids to do the dirty work for them? I mean, I always made kids do the dirty work for me, but not in that way…No, stupid fuckers… That is not way of doing things…"

"Well, then what you are going to do, space old fart?" Amethyst asked in a very wacky, totally irreverent manner. Thankfully, Zordon did not hear her words, because he was busy concentrating in being awesome.

"Listen, earthlings, this is what I am going to do…" Zordon proclaimed, as his powerful, deep baritone voice echoed in the walls of the crystalline palace. "I am not supposed to reincarnate until 100 years and a half, but if wait another 250 years for my next reincarnation, I can give you some sweet-ass supowerpowers that will be more than enough to defeat Clarence and to kick his lardass back to hell with one single kick! I will make you and your friends the next rangers!"

"Oh my God!" Steven exclaimed in awe. "OhmyGodohmyGodohmyGodohmyGodohmyGodOHMYFUCKINGGOD! OH MY FUCKING GOD! THIS IS THE FUCKING BEST DAY OF MY LIFE! I ALWAYS DREAMT WITH THIS MOMENT SINCE THE DAY I WAS BORN!"

"Huh…" Mayor Dewey said "I'm not really sure if I would like to be a Power Ranger…I mean…Aren't the Power Rangers supposed to be like, teens? And I, as you can see good sir, stopped being a teen a long time ago…A long, long time ago…"

"Nonsense!" Zordon replied. "Jason David Frank is still a Power Ranger and he is like, fifty now! You are just looking for excuse to avoid going to the battlefield! Fucking coward!"

"But I just…"

"Shut up! Stop talking! I don't want to hear your shitty complaints! Everybody would love to be a motherfucking Power Ranger. So be quiet and stand still while I give you and your dipshit friends some motherfucking ranger powers!"

And before Mayor Dewey or anyone else could say a single word, Zordon zapped Steven and co. with a multicolored beam of light that transformed them into the new Power Rangers and also gave to each one of them a mecha-zord with the shape of their respective totem:

Steven became the Red Ranger, the red lion.

Connie became the Yellow Ranger, the yellow tigress.

Mayor Dewey became the Blue Ranger, the blue orca.

Mr. Gus became the Green Ranger, the green Komodo Dragon.

Giant Realistic Flying Tiger became the Pink Ranger, the Pink koala (Lol, I bet you were expecting to be tiger, cos she is tiger but NOT! Also, there's no rule that forbids animals of being Power Rangers, since Power Rangers: S.P.D had a dog alien Power Ranger, so then a tiger can be a Power Ranger too.)

Aunt Grandma became the Black Ranger, the black mamba (Though her outfit had some shades of silver and grey)

And Tiny Miracle became a badass robot like the Phantom Ranger. He had a mecha-zord that resembled a velociraptor with dragon wings.

Uncle Grandpa's magical Belly Bag and Amethyst did not become anything because Zordon already wasted all the power he could use by that moment and needed a recharge of 3 months.

"Aw, damn…" Steven said. "I wanted to be the pink ranger. What a wasted opportunity to fight against those archaic gender stereotypes that still affect modern fiction!"

"Yeah, whatever…" Zordon said. "Now you have the Power Ranger powers and fucking Neo Megazords, so go back to earth and kick Clarence's back to hell!"

"Okay, but before leaving, I have a little question…" Steven said.

"Steven, I don't think now is the best time for making your usual idiotic questions…"

"Connie, I don't know if I would ever have another chance to meet Zordon again, and there was something I always wanted to know! Please, let me make my question!"

"Is some fucking stupid question about Alpha 5, isn't it?"

"Yeaaah…So my question is…What happened to him?"

Zordon sighed before answering Steven's stupid question.

"The enemies blew up him, so I had to rebuild him as the Phantom Ranger, making him more badass and less whiny…"

"Cool!" Steven replied while his eyes did again that stupid star thing.

The new Power Ranger team was ready to go back to earth, but then Amethyst start whining in a very annoying manner.

"Fucking hell, NOW WHAT?" Zordon asked with annoyance.

"Is not fair! Is not fair!" whined Amethyst. Her raspy voice sounded like nails on a chalkboard.

"What? What is not fucking fair?" Ninjor asked then.

"Huh-Huh…"Amethyst stuttered…" I WANT TO HAVE FUCKING BIG MEGAZORD AND BIG FUCKING POWER RANGER SUIT, BUT I DO NOT HAVE ANY OF THAT! WHY LIFE HAS TO BE SO UNFAIR? IS BECAUSE I A BIT OVERWEIGHT? I THINK ZORDON HATES OPVERWEIGHT PEOPLE! I MEAN, WHY THERE HAS NOT BEEN ANY FAT POWER RANGER YET, HUH? WHY DOES ZORDON HATES FAT PEOPLE, HUH? IS BECAUSE US DON'T CONFORM TO HIS ARCHAIC (And frankly fucked up) IDEALS OF "BEAUTY" AND NORMALITY, HUH? AND WHY HE MADE THE BLACK DUDE THE BLACK RANGER AND THE ASIAN ONE THE YELLOW RANGER, AND THEN KICKED THEM OUT AS IF THEY WERE RESPONSIBLE FOR THEIR FUCKED UP MISTAKES, HUH? AND WHY THE PINK RANGER IS FEMALE, HUH? AND WHY THERE HASN'T BEEN ANY FEMALE RED RANGER AS LEADER OF THE TEAM, HUH? AND WHY THE SIXTH RANGER NEVER IS FEMALE, HUH? AND WHY THE MEGAZORDS DO NOT HAVE FEATHERS SINCE ACTUAL DINOSAURS HAD FEATHERS AS SOME RECENT STUDIES HAVE SHOWN, HUH? AND WHY ONE OF THEM IS A DRAGON? DRAGONS ARE NOT FUCKING DINOSAURS, GET YOUR FUCKING FACTS STRAIGHT, ZORDON! FUCKING HELL, ZORDON, YOU MADE SO MANY FUCKING MISTAKES, ZORDON! SO MANY FUCKING MISTAKES!"

"Jesus Christ" Zordon whispered. "Listen, if I give you some robot space-ship and some shitty spandex suit, will you cease your infernal blabbering?"

"Yes. Maybe…Who knows?"

"Eeeehhh…" Zordon cringed. "Listen, Ninjor, give this dipshit some of your used ninjabots and some leather oufit you use for your BDSM…Anything just to made this Jammerlappen to shut the fuck up…"

So in that way, Ninjor gave Amethyst some of their used Ninjabots and some sexy bondage leather outfit to make her stop whining about everything.

"There you go…" Zordon said with disdain. "Are you happy now?"

"As a matter of fact, yes I am…" Amethyst replied, with a smug smile on her face.

"Good. Now get the fuck out of here and go back to earth to kick Clarence's ass back to hell where it belongs!"

"Yes, sir!" Steven said, with so much fucking badass determination that he almost sounded as a completely different person.

"Eh, I'm still not really sure about this…" muttered Mayor Dewey, feeling uncomfortable with the spandex suit that did not leave very much to the imagination, but the others glared at him so he decided to keep his doubts and complaints for himself.

"Good luck with your mission on Earth, darling!" The Nightcrawler said to Amethyst before she left Eltar with others.

Moments later, the new Power Ranger team (and Amethyst) travelled back to earth, ready to have their final fight against Clarence and his evil friends Jeff and Sumo, and their army of Nazi demons as well. Now they had the power to do that.

"Huh, Amethyst…" Steven asked. "Are you going to leave the Gem spaceship abandoned in planet Eltar? Shouldn't we try to tow it back to earth just in case we need it again?"

"Fuck that shit!" Amethyst replied "That fucking thing gave so many bad memories of all the fucking Gem orgies I wasn't invited! If that fucking shit have a fucking self-destruct button I would have pushed it a long time ago!"

"Gee, Amethyst, I was just was asking…Calm the fuck down…"

"YOU CALM DOWN!" Amethyst replied angrily. And angstily also, cos then Amethyst start crying:

"I just want to be LOVED! Why I wasn't invited to all those fucking Gem orgies? Is all fault of Pearl and Garnet, those crazy hos! Fucking Crazy hos!"

Steven and the others remained silent, feeling very uncomfortable of being in the middle of such an awkward situation.

"When the fuck this fucking shitty Power Ranger adventure bullshit is going to be fucking over?" Connie asked herself, looking at her watch. "Damn. I'm so done with this shit…"

Meanwhile, back on planet Eltar some animals found the abandoned Gem spaceship, and they also found the secret fridge where the Gems kept their food, beers, cigarettes and drugs for their secret orgies, and accidentally some of them drank the beer and inhaled the smoke from the cigarettes and drugs and they went drunk or stoned or both things at the same time and started tripping balls and started fucking each other, even those animals they were not supposed to fuck.

It was a very weird for the whole jungle, and there were a lot of wacky and awkward situations that lasted some days once the drug craze and the animal orgies were finally over in the jungle from Planet Eltar.

 _To be continued…_


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9:**

 **The battle against Clarence**

Back on planet earth, Clarence, still high as fuck, was scratching his balls when he had the following idea:

"Now that I think about it, I never had the giant robotic spider I always wanted to have since I was a kid…Now I still don't the fucking robot, but I have the demonic powers to force the others to build that thing for me!"

And without consulting Jeff and Sumo, Clarence, still high as fuck, travelled towards the closest big city in the area, ready to enslave the population and force them to build the giant robotic spider of his dream. On his way, he and his army demons stopped in one little town where they murdered a lot of innocent people and kidnapped and enslaved the survivors, that were chained and stripped of their clothes. Clarence wanted them for his harem of sex slaves so he ordered the demons to take them away to the ruins of Beach City.

"Now let's continue our journey towards the home of my future slaves!" Clarence said triumphantly. "I'm so happy that I can sing! In fact I will start singing right now!"

However, before Clarence could start singing some terrible pop song he heard on the radio a few hours ago (AN: insert here some shitty song of your preference) Steven and the others arrived to earth on their respective zords, ready to fight against Clarence and to kick his fat arse back to hell where it belonged.

"Oh, look who is here…" Clarence exclaimed with disdain "Fucking Steven Negaverse or whatever"

"For you is Mr. Negaverse!" Steven replied with anger. "And you know it is STEVEN. . asshole! I mean how you can even forget the name of the man who kick your ass and killed you…"

"Yeah, I still remember that. THAT IS THE FUCKING REASON OF WHY I HATE YOU SO MUCH AND I WANT KILL AND DESTROY EVERYTHING YOU LOVE, YOU FUCKING DIPSHIT! I was just being sarcastic!"

This happened 5 years ago:

A mysterious serial killer was terrorizing Beach City… Onion, Sour Cream, Yellowtail and Vidalia were found dead on their respective house, and Steven and the other gems had to investigate who was responsible for those murders since the local police was way too incompetent to solve an actual murder…

At first, Garnet and Pearl thought the murderer was Marty, because he was a fucking despicable shitlord, (and also he and Vidalia used to be in a relationship, but Marty abandoned Vidalia when she got pregnant cos he was a fucking asshole) so they went to their house ready to kick his shitlord ass, but much to their surprise that fucking shitlord was dead too, and his corpse had many strange symbols carved on it…

"What the fuck are those symbols?" Pearl asked while examining the corpse.

"I think those are satanic symbols…" Steven said. "I learned something about them since Connie became a newborn Christian after the divorce of her parents…"

With the help of Connie, Wikipedia and the Google Search engine, Steven discovered there were a secret satanic sect hidden in Hollywood (where else?) which was connected with the Illuminati that wanted to unleash the Antichrist on this world and start the Third World War. Clarence was a member of that sect.

Helped by a group of brave vigilantes that made several Youtube videos to expose the Illuminati conspiracies (AN: Yes, all of those are real. Don't mock them just because the NOW is real menace for the world and most people are just in denial about it. But I can understand those people very well. It is a very disturbing thought to consider that we are just mere puppets in the big scheme of some manipulative assholes hidden in the shadows, but sometimes truth can be very harsh and ugly, especially in those dark, godless times we live, with some many lies being spread in the web, when our youth gets lost since early age…A dark time when kids and teens think that satanism and satanic stuff are "cool"- but those things are NOT cool, and end harming lives, destroying families, and taking our youth away from the Lord. This is why I decided to write this story, disguised as an extremely violent action tale, but I sincerely hope this at least encourages some people to start questioning the way things are in our corrupt society, and the devilish subliminal messages bombarded by media. Wake up, people. Wake up, America. The powers is yours to change. The time is now. Instead of wasting your time watching the horrible videos of the Nostalgia Critic or Mr. Enter, watch videos against the Illuminati and the NWO to fight against the disgusting reptiles hidden in our government and our society. This is a good advice, my friends.) Steven, Connie and the Gems were able to infiltrate inside one of the satanic parties of those Illuminati devil-worshippers; most of them were not even human, but reptilians instead. They were having a sexy orgy party filled with satanic stuff (kinda like in the movies Eyes Wide Shut…That is a very good movie, I recommend it to everyone)In the party, Steven and the gems cleverly disguised themselves as sexy kitten slaves (that's how the Illuminati refer to the girls they brainwash to become the mindless drones they could for their fiendish plans) and during the ritual ceremony, Steven discovered Clarence a became a member of the Illuminati after killing his mother and stepfather, that spoiled too much the little bastard until he became evil. If those two rednecks have shown at least some discipline towards the little brat, he would have grown to become a productive member of society, or at least he would not have become a satanist. But noooo, they were the kind of lazy parents that let his spoiled son do whatever they want, until he was completely rotten, allowing the creation of a monster. ( AN: Sadly, in modern times, most parents are like Clarence's parents, they spoil too much their kids, and that is why modern world is so messed up. If you are parent and you are reading this, remember that is never too late to discipline your kid if he is not a teenager yet. Don't let them to do whatever they want, and forget the advice of some shitty books and websites, that kid HAS to respect you, if not he will grow up to become an entitled little shit that will end fucking up things very badly. My advice is to start reading the Bible, even if you are an atheist, because it has many good advices to be a good dad/mom)

Steven (disguised a Illuminati kitten slave) listened all the horrific crimes Clarence committed in the name of the dark lord of the reptilians: That bastard committed at least 660 crimes in less than two years, and he needed 6 more to become the host for the Antichrist. Among those crimes, the murder of Onion and his family was mentioned, and that enraged a lot Steven, because he was still upset about that, so he decided to fuse with Connie to fight against the Illuminati.

Garnet and Amethyst fused too, forming Sugilite, and they killed many Illuminati reptilians that night. The brave vigilantes fought the best they could that night, but sadly, the battle was way too intense for them, and they all died that night. Before dying, the leader of the vigilantes begged Steven to expose the truth of the Illuminati to the rest of the world through more Youtube videos, and also asked him to kill all the reptilians until all of them were dead.

"The Humanity will never be safe until all the reptilians are dead…" the brave vigilante leader said before dying. "The reptilians are responsible for all the wars, the creation of the atomic bombs that could wipe our species and all the satanism in media…You have to destroy them, Steven…You have to destroy them until they are all dead, and in that day, our world will be finally in peace, following the teachings of the Holy Bible…"

Then the brave vigilante citizen died and Stevonnie screamed: "NOOOOOOOOOOO! I WILL AVENGE YOUR DEATH, MY GOOD FRIEND! AND I WILL AVENGE ALL THE PEOPLE THAT WAS KILLED BY ILLUMINATI, ESPECIALLY ONION AND HIS FAMILY!"

That night the Gems killed most of the Illuminati and freed many of their mind-controlled slaves. Stevonnie fought against Clarence in a single combat, and defeated him. Then Stevonnie castrated him, making that bastard to scream in pain out of his lungs.

Stevonnie separated, and then Steven took one of the swords the Illuminati used for their human sacrifices to chop the head of Clarence. Before killing Clarence, Steven said:

"Remember my fucking name, you fucking bastard! The name of the fucking man who killed you, motherfucking! I AM THE FUCKING STEVEN UNIVERSE, ASSHOLE! NOW BURN IN HELL!"

Then Steven beheaded Clarence and continued hitting his dead body with the sword for several minutes. And then Steven started crying, because he was still Steven anyway. It was a very traumatic experience for him, and he go to a psychiatrist for an entire year to get over the whole experience. As he promised to the brave leader of the vigilitante citizens, he uploaded several videos on Youtube to expose the Illuminati, but most people just ignored them and his videos only had 36 views while other videos of some unfunny moron making bad jokes while he was playing videogames got like 32456417 views, so Steven just said: "Oh FUCK THIS! Besides, most of the Illuminati arenow dead, anyway…" and things continued going on normally.

What Steven ignored is that Clarence's friends, Sumo and Jeff, were also part of the Illuminati, and they were absent of the Illuminati orgy party because they were busy fucking each other and also Jeff and Sumo were not that much into the satanic stuff, they just like murdering people and drinking their blood, but when they discovered Clarence's corpse inside the mansion of the party, they went insane for a while and then they decided to make a deal with the devil killing their respective families in order to bring back Clarence from hell. In order to do that, they had to commit at least 27 murders during the full moon, and five years later, Clarence was brought back to life, ready to unleash his horrible revenge.

 _End of Flashback_

"Fucking Steven Universe, I hated you from the moment you castrated me and chopped off my head, sending me directly to hell, where I have to eat my own shit and suffered a lot of painful humiliations that I cannot describe with simple mortal words…"

"Well asshole, what the fuck you were expecting? You murdered a lot of people, including children, and also had sex with their skulls. You are such a fucking bastard, you made sick…"

"Bitch, bitch, bitch…" Clarence replied with disdain. "But now that you are back to earth, is time for you die, like your friend Uncle Grandpa, Steven Fuckingverse!"

And shortly after Clarence said those words, he ordered his army of demons to destroy the Megazords of Steven and the new rangers, but they were perfectly able to resist their attack because their megazords were super strong and also cooler and more badass than the zords of the current rangers, since they had Zordon's seal of quality.

"Okay, now is our turn!" Steven screamed as he the others activated the defense mode of their zords, which wiped out the entire army of demons under Clarence's command, sending all them back to hell.

"Whoah, WHAT THE FUUUUUCK?" Clarence exclaimed with anger.

"I bet you were not expecting that, dipshit!" Steven said in a very cocky manner. And then Steven expected Clarence to surrender, but much to his surprise, Clarence just started laughing.

"Why the fuck are you laughing, asshole, we destroyed your entire army without effort!" Connie exclaimed.

"You really think I really needed the help of those assholes?" Clarence replied with open disdain, while drawing a smile on his fucking fatfuck face. "Those demons were mostly for spectacle and intimidation, because I enjoy causing terror in the hearts of my victims…But in reality, I'm actually far stronger than any of those motherfuckers, so I don't care…"

However, before he could finish his last sentence, Connie used the laser cannons of her tigress zord to blast Clarence, burning him down to a crisp, and turning him into dust that was spread by the northern wind.

"There, I killed that motherfucking. Fucking adventure over" Connie said. "Now can we continue with our lives?"

At first, it seemed like Connie was right and this stupid adventure was finally fucking over, but then Steven and the others heard Clarence's grasping laugh in the distance, and then a rain of fire started falling from heaven, burning down a several mountains on the area, and also some little towns and restaurants. Some people managed to escape the destruction, but others died.

Steven and the others tried to help that people, but then Clarence attacked them with a devastating blast of energy that left a big, smoky crater on that zone, but fortunately the zord were fast enough to dodge that last attack. Except Amethyst's Ninjazord which was way too old and it was also a bit rusted, and it was also slower than the other zords, that is why her ninjazord suffered some damages, but Amethyst manages to survive Clarence's attack.

The sky then turned red, and lots of blood and frogs started raining from it as Clarence emerged from one dark cloud under his ultimate Satanic form: Supreme demon king Clarence, which had three faces of different color and six wings, and also had many horns on his head and shoulders. It was like a vision from the apocalypse and some people went mad just by the mere sight of that thing.

" _I am tired of you and your bullshit, fucking Stevenverse_ …" Clarence exclaimed with voice of a thunder, which made the mountains tremble. " _I am so fucking tired that I've decided to obliterate you along with this fucking planet, Steven fuckingverse_ …"

And after this announcement, Clarence made a big ball of energy that was big enough to destroy the entire earth, maybe the entire solar system and some other planetary systems as well.

Steven and the others tried to use their megazords to destroy that energy ball, but their attacks had no effect and the energy ball keep growing until it become too big as black hole able to suck the entire galaxy. Things seemed really bad.

"There is only one choice..." Steven said nervously. "We have to combine our zords to from the ultimate fucking megazord!"

The others nodded and said: "Ok".

Steven then pressed a button inside his zord that open a little metal box that contained a golden key with the symbol of a golden lion carved on it: He put the key inside a compartment that said: "To combine the zords, put key here", and the others did the same thing, and then a triumphant heavy metal rock music start playing, and there was a shining golden light that surrounded the zords, and it blinded Clarence for a couple of seconds, in fact, the light was shiny that it made one of his eyes explode and his other eye started to bleed as he screamed with angers:

"FUCKERS WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING I WILL MOTHERFUCKING KILL YOU FOR THIS FUCKING ASSHOLES!"

But despite all his anger, Clarence could not stop the combination process of the zords into an incredibly powerful megazord, which was at least more powerful than 3 different megazords combined.

The only zord that did not become a part of the megazaord was Amethyst's Ninjazord cos it was way too old and lame and also it did not have any key to perform a combination with the other zords, and Amethyst feel angry because of that.

"Fucking excluding assholes!" she said. "You call yourselves true friends, dipshits?"

"Now is time for you to die and return to hell, Clarence!" Steven proclaimed, as he and his friends were ready to kill that motherfucker, but the bastard then used a forcefield to block their attack, hopping to destroy them with an evil destructive wave that could have easily erased an entire continent from the map, the but the megazord was able to stop the attack by using its special shield with the face of megatherium (the Nightcrawler) on it, and using its two golden swords, this super megazord started drilling on the forcefield created by Clarence, until they were able to hurt the villain, impaling his genitals with the two swords.

A lot of black and acid blood started to fall all over the place, as Clarence screamed with pain and anger, and almost the entire world could hear him, even in distant places like Australia.

"Now, finish this motherfucker!" Connie exclaimed enthusiastically but she and the others underestimated Clarence's strength on his ultimate form: Using his left arm (the right arm had the energy ball Clarence was preparing in order to obliterate the galaxy) Clarence punched the super megazord aways, breaking one of its four archangel wings, and also started zapping it with dark energy waves, hoping to destroy it completely.

"DIE, MOTHERFUCKERS! DIE! DIE! DIE!" Clarence shouted as he performed his deadly attack. Steven and the others wanted to free themselves from the dark energy prison where Clarence had imprisoned them, but the evil energies of their opponent was too strong for them. It also seemed like all hope was lost but then…

"Okay, motherfuckers, you know what? Enough of this fucking magic Power Ranger bullshit, let's solve this in the good ol fashioned way!" Amethyst said as she emerged from her Ninjazord with a bazooka, and launched a missile towards Clarence, and since he was way too distracted trying to kill Steven and the others, the missile explodedon his other eye, leaving him blind and screaming in pain.

"NOOOO, WHO THE FUCK DID THAT I WILL KILL YOU MOTGHERFUCKING! I WILL FUCKING KILL YOU!" Clarence roared, but then Steven and others used their super megazord to attack Clarence again, and the energy shock of the dark powers of demon king Clarence and the light good forces of the super megazord caused a violent earthquake and storm and was strong that for a moment a lot of people everywhere thought it was the end of the world.

"I won't be destroyed by miserable ants like you!" Clarence screamed. Even blind, he was a dangerous opponent, and his strength was still too much for the super megazord to handle.

Soon, the shock of the forces turned so strong and violent, it created a rupture across dimensions: Steven and the others decided that the best thing would be to throw Clarence into that other dimension so he and the energy ball he created and still had on his right hand would not be able to destroy our galaxy, but Clarence was way too strong and offered too much resistance.

"I will take care of this fucking shithead, Amethyst said, throwing more missiles towards

Clarence's wounds, managing to distract for enough time so Steven and the others could throw him into another dimension, where he exploded along with the energy ball he created.

Clarence's last words before being obliterated were this:

"FUCK YOU, STEVEN UNIVERSE! FUCK YOU TO HELL! I HOPE YOU BURN AND DIE ALONG WITH ALL YOUR MOTHERFUCKING DIPSHIT FRIENDS, YOU FUCKING PIECE OF ASSHOLE SHIT! FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU!"

Then Clarence was completely destroyed in another dimension, and the explosion of his destruction caused the birth of several galaxies, and it also was strong enough to close the rupture in our dimension.

Clarence was finally dead! The planet earth was finally safe from bastard asshole. Steven and his friends wanted to celebrate, but they told themselves it was still too soon for that:

"Jeeff and Sumo are still alive. If we let those motherfuckers live, they will try to resurrect Clarence…We better find them and kill those motherfuckers…" Amethyst suggested.

The others agreed and where towards the ruins of Beach City as fast as they could.

 _To be continued…_


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10:**

 **The battle against Jeff and Sumo!**

"Impossible!" Jeff exclaimed during those moments. "Clarence…Clarence is dead now! FUCK!"

"WHAT?" Sumo replied, as he suddenly stopped sucking the cock of Harold Smiley, who was drugged and unconscious, just like Greg, Ronaldo and Mr. Fryman. "But that's impossible!"

However, it was true: Clarence now was dead, and his body had been entirely destroyed by Steven and his friends, sending the soul of that fucking bastard directly to hell, where it belonged.

"Damn it, Sumo…" Sumo said. "We should have gone to his aid since the very first moment since the earthquakes started, but you were all "nah, Clarence will kill all those motherfuckers with ease, let's have some fun with the slaves instead…"

"Is ok…Is ok, we can fix this…We will go with the Illuminati lizards, and they will revive our fatass friend again, like they did before…Yeah, they will do their satanic magic shit, and things will good as new…"

"How are they going to dad that, motherfucker?" Jeff said with a concerned voice. "His fucking body was sent to another dimension and completely destroyed, I could feel it…"

"Is ok, is ok Jeff…"Sumo insisted. "Even if his body was destroyed, his soul must still in hell anyway…We just need another body to host it!"

"And where the fuck we are going to get another body host?"

"Oh, come on, Jeff! Just look around you…All these naked, unconscious and drugged men around us…Surely one of them would do…"

So in that way, Jeff and Sumo picked at random the unconscious Mr. Fryman and Ronaldo to became the host for the soul of Clarence, and ran away from the ruins of Beach City before Steven and the others arrived to that place to send those two motherfuckers back to hell, where they rightfully belonged along with his lardass dipshit friend Clarence. Also, they also summoned some demons to keep their enemies distracted of their escape.

"Go ahead; destroy all this fucking hellhole demons!" Jeff ordered the demons. "Kill everyone! Don't let a single bitch alive on this place!"

Immediately after this order was given Jeff and Sumo escaped, while the demons started murdering and eating the few survivors that were left in the ruins of Beach City, tainting the streets with their blood.

Steven and the others arrived on their zords a few moments later, they were tired and their zords had suffered some major damage after their intense battle, but when they saw how those evil demons were killing the few survivors left in Beach City, they went all berserk and their robots assumed battle mode, and started blasting the demons, sending them back to hell.

However, the demons were way too evil and played some dirty tricks, using their demon magic to separate the team, sending them to different places in order to kept them distracted enough time so Jeff and Sumo could escape, and in that way Steven arrived to the place were those two fuckers left the unconscious bodies of his abused slaves.

There, Steven found his fathers, naked and in chains. His long brown hair and beard has been shaved and the word "FUCKBOY" was written with big red letters on his forehead.

"DAD!" A horrified Steven exclaimed, as he came out of his robot to help his dad. "Dad! What they have done to you? Are you still alive? Please tell me youa re still alive…"

"Yes, Steven…" Greg replied weakly. "I'm still alive, but come on Steven, this is a trap, Jeff and Sumo want to distract you from their escape! They got Mr. Fryman and Ronaldo, they want to use them as the new vessels for the soul of Clarence, I heard them!"

"Dad, you need medical assistance! I won't abandon you!"

"Steven I'll be fine! Go ahead and stop those motherfuckers! Make them pay for all the fucked up shit they did to me!"

"But dad…"

"Go for them, son! Go for these cuntface motherfuckers! Do it for your father!"

"Hum, ok dad!" Steven said, before leaving the place. "But please don't die!"

Steven came out from the dungeon where his dad and other men were imprisoned. Some demons blocked his way, but Steven killed them all with a single punch of his lion zord in battle mode. He also saw the unconscious Sadie in one of the dungeons, and noticed a rat had eaten some of the fingers of her left feet. Steven wanted to help her, but then he remembered that he had to stop Sumo and Jeff, so he had to delay the rescue of Sadie for later.

Steven ran, ran as fast as he could inside his lion zord, until he finally arrived to an old graveyard outside the ruins of Beach city: Steven noticed with his Crystal Gem powers that the atmosphere of that place was infested with some horrible evil energies, and that was because Sumo and Jeff were preparing a satanic ritual in that place to summon the soul of at least 500 dead illuminati lizards to ask them for help to revive Clarence.

"Sumo and Jeff must be here!" Steven said, as he entered the graveyeard, ready to fight. Some demons tried to stop them but Steven used his zord to send all those dirty bastards back to hell, making them to bit the ground in the process.

Some skeletons merged from their tombs, and Steven thought he would have to fight again, but the skeleton just did some weird movements, similar to a ritual dance, that was because of the satanic ritual Jeff and Sumo were doing in that place.

"I will stop them, I will stop those motherfuckers and I will avenge my father's honor!" Steven said to himself as he used his zord to kick the stone door of the old chapel in the middle of the graveyard: There he found Mr. Fryman and Ronaldo tied to some inverted crosses, and also Sumo and Jeff were there, assuming their respective demonic forms: Sumo was a giant demon with three faces of different color, and centaur goat legs, while Jeff has an androgynous hermaphroditic demonic form, with six fallen angel wings, and an inverted halo that indicated his devilish nature.

"You arrive just in time, Steven fucking Universe…" Jeff announced with disdain. "You will be the perfect sacrifice for our ritual to revive our friend Clarence…"

"Yeah, motherfucker…" Sumo added, licking his monstrous demonic lips. "But before we kill you, we will have some fun with you first… Let's see how you look without clothes, dipshit!"

"You are dreaming if you think that I will let you get away with your shit, you wankheads!" Steven exclaimed, furiously. "I will make you pay for what you did to my father!"

"Oh yeah? What we did to that fucker?" Jeff asked out of curiosity.

"You put him chains! And also shaved his hair and beard, and also wrote nasty words on his forehead1 And other horrible nasty stuff I don't even want to imagine!"

"That old fucker was your father? Gee, we did not know that…We would have been much harsher with him if we already knew that before…What a missed opportunity…"

"Enough of this stupid chatter…Is time to crush this fuckboy…" Sumo said, trying to impale Steven with his claws, but Steven dodged his attack, and listening the word "fuckboy" enraged him so much (because it remembered him the suffering of his father) that he used his zord to rip off Sumo's arms.

"SUMO!" An horrified Jeff exclaimed as the whole chapel was covered with blood, and then Steven used Sumo's severed arms as a sword, impaling his opponent with them. Jeff tried to intervene, but Steven used the laser eyes from his lion zord to keep him away, melting Jeff's face, and Jeff started to scream in pain and agony.

"YOU FUCKER!" Jeff shouted. "YOU CRAZY MOTHERFUCKER! WHAT THE FUCK HAVE YOU DONE TO MY FACE! MY BEAUTIFUL FACE IS NOW RUINED YOU FUCKING CUNT WHAT THE FUCK!"

But Steven could not hear him, he just keep punching Sumo's head until it turned into a unrecognizable bloody pulp that did not even look human nor demonic….It was just something grotesque, as it was something vomited by some kind of alien being. Yet it was still alive thanks to its demonic powers.

"This is for my father!" Steven screamed with anger, as he punched his enemy. "And this is for Beach city! And for Onion! And for his family! And this for all the Pokemon and people you killed, dirty sick, bastard! You deserve to burn in hell along with Clarence, and Illuminati lizards that allow scumbags like you to commit their atrocities! Fucking Illuminati scum! Fucking NWO, ruining the world since the Bronze Age! Perhaps even before! You fuckers killed all the people from Atlantis! And force us to watch shitty movies with so much subliminal bullcrap directed by washed up hacks and starring some overrated drug addicted buffoons! And all for what? Just to keep fucking people controlled and passive distracted with bullshit that is no way relevant to their lives! Fuck you!"

However, this brave and truthful rant about the evils done by the Illuminati in our world were suddenly interrupted by Jeff, who then punched him in the gut (He actually punch the zord in the gut, but Steven could feel that in his gut too, since it was a very strong punch.

"Just because I am not as strong as Clarence, that doesn't mean I can't kill you, fucking piece of shit!" And as he said those words, his two hands became giants knifes he used to damage Steven's Lion zord. "I will make you pay for ruining my beautiful face, shithead! I will remove all the fucking skin of your dirty human body and will force you to eat it like it was KFC chicken skin, you little shit! But first, I'm gonna crush your shitty robot toy as the piece of junk it is!"

Steven tried to defend himself, but then some tentacles surrounded his zord, and suddenly he was electrocuted by some unexpected enemy…It actually was Sumo, that despite being on the verge of death after receiving Steven's brutal attack, was still able to generate some demonic tentacles from his body and used them against Steven, making the lion zord to explode, but Steven managed to escape from it just in time, though he got some wounds from the explosion, that devastated a big part from the chapel.

"Finish him, Jeff!" Sumo shrieked. "Kill that motherfucker!"

Without his zord, Steven was an easy prey for Jeff, who easily captured him and was ready to castrate him, but then Amethyst crashed through one of the glass windows of the chapel, carrying a bazooka with her.

"Eat this, cuntface!" Amethyst said, as she launched a missile towards Jeff's head making it explode, much to Sumo's horror.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Jeff screamed and then the other rangers inside their respective zords entered the chapel and start shooting Jeff and Sumo until their remains were completely destroyed, so they could not regenerate their demonic bodies, sending those two motherfuckers back to hell.

"Steven, are you ok?" Connie asked as she hugged Steven. "Oh, fuck1 You are bleeding!"

"I'm fine, Connie, don't worry…" Steven said, as he hugged Connie too, and started crying tears of happiness and relief. "How did you find me?"

"A few years ago we planted a homing device under your skull so we could find you if you ever get lost in space…Sorry for not telling you about that before, pal…" Amethyst replied.

"Is ok I guess…" Steven said. "Fuck, those sick motherfuckers were about to cut my balls off…"

"Well Steven that would have been such a shame…" Connie remarked. "Fortunately we arrive just in time to save your balls…"

"You saved my little Stevens, Amethyst… I can't thank you enough…"

"Hey, it wouldn't be the first time I saved your genitalia…You know, when you were a baby, some doctor said you needed to be circumcised or some shit and I told him to fuck off, cos we want our first male gem on his uncut Director's Edition!"

"Yes, I know…You told that story every Christmas, Amethyst…" said Mayor Dewey.

"Oh, just fuck off! I just saved the world, and also saved Steven's balls. I think I deserve a little bit of respect just for that…"

"Yeah, Amethyst, you are right…" Steven replied "Thanks…For saving the world…And my balls too…"

"Duh, you are welcome Steven…"

The nightmare was finally over.


	11. Epilogue

**Epilogue**

The battle was over, but there was still too much that needed to be done.

Beach City was in ruins. There were no more than 50 survivors left in each one of them was horrible traumatized for the recent events.

Ironically enough, Garnet and Pearl returned from their alien war mission just a few hours after the end of the battle: They were shocked and horrified to discover Beach City has been destroyed and most citizens had been killed off. They were all like: "Oh, hi there, we are back, but…OH MY WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED HERE?"

"Is all your fault, crazy hos!" Amethyst reproached them. "You went to fucking space to have your fucking hot gem sex and see what happened! Now Beach City is destroyed and most of its people have been killed by some fatfuck called Clarence who was a Nazi illuminati bitch and he and his Nazi Illuminati friends almost kill everyone, but fortunately good ol' Amy was here to clean up all your messes!"

And then Amethyst gave the middle finger to Garnet and Pearl at the time she said: "WOO HOO BITCHES! I RULE! GO AMY, GO AMY, WOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

Steven then explained Pearl and Garnet what actually happened, and two gems felt bad for all the people who died during the last 3 days.

"Steven, we went to space to protect the solar system from some alien invaders that were approaching to this planet! We killed them all, but we didn't know about all the crap that was happening on earth…Oh dear, I feel so horrible, is like it was our fault all those innocent people died…"

"Well Pearl…" Amethyst said. "There is no doubt the death of all those innocents was entirely your fault (Well, it was Garnet's fault too) would you like to talk with Nanefua just to feel a little bit better?"

"Yes…" Pearl replied with tears on her eyes. "I seriously need to talk with her right now…"

"Well, too bad, COS SHES DEAD! AND SHE DIED BECAUSE YOU WERE NOT ON EARTH TO PROTECT HER, DIPSHIT! OOOOOOOOH BURN!"

Then Pearl started crying and Amethyst just laughed.

"Oh, come on Amethyst, don't be so mean! We did our best effort to save all the innocent people we could…And sadly we just could not save them all…Like for example, when I was trying to capture Jeff and Sum I wanted to rescue Sadie and…Oh, dear, I forgot about Sadie! We got to rescue her!"

Then Steven and the others went to the prison where they forgot Sadie to rescue her, sadly, when they arrived some rats already had eaten half of her face and part of her arm: In the hospital they also discovered Sadie suffered some serious brain damage that left her in coma caused by her failed suicide attempt (See chapter 5)

Steven feel bad for her, but the Crystal Gems promised him that they would be able to find a cure for heer in the future, so after regenerating the missing skin of her face and arm, Sadie was put in suspended animation until the gems were able to find a cure for her coma. Lars felt bad for her and cried a lot, but then Pearl promised him that maybe someday in the future she would be able to wake up from her come.

"I will be there for her, no matter how long it takes…" Lars promised. After all the traumatic experiences he had to suffer during the last 3 days, he needed a lot of therapy and drugs to get over the pain.

Once the great battle against Clarence was finally over, Mayor Dewey reunited the few survivors on his office (He was horrified to find there a lot of corpses, including the throne of Clarence which was made of dead Pokemons and Yokais) and promised he will find a way to rebuild the city, but all those survivors were too traumatized and depressed to do anything so Steven and the gems had to do all the rebuild work by themselves, using the zords Zordon gave to them.

It took two months to rebuild Beach City and since their world was entirely destroyed by Clarence, Mr. Gus, Giant Realistic Flying Tiger, Aunt Grandma and Tiny Miracler decided to stay there. Sadly, Uncle Grandpa's magical Belly Bag died shortly after the battle was won, cos he had a lot of wounds, and he was practically almost dead when the team returned to earth.

"At least I will be reunited with Uncle Grandpa…" Belly Bag said before dying. "And I am glad to know that motherfucker fatass wankhead of Clarence now burns in hell along with his asshole friends…Goodbye my friends!"

Those were the last words of Uncle Grandpa's magical Belly Bag. Mr. Gus and the others mourned his death for a long time, visiting his grave on the park every single Saturday, bringing flowers and seashells.

"You are with God now, Belly Bag…" Mr. Gus said during the burial of Uncle Grandpa's magical Belly Bag. "Rest in peace…"

During those days, Steven realized all the horror and death unleashed by Clarence and his evil friends were made possible due the intervention of the evil Illuminati lizards…And decided something needed to be done about them.

"So this means some of those bastards survived our big attack during that fateful night…" Steven thought to himself. "It was like the brave leader of the vigilante citizens told me, humanity will be always in danger as long the illuminati reptilians continue existing in this world…"

For that reason, Steven decided to start a long journey to hunt down all the illuminati lizards left in the world, promising to himself to kill them all. Connie decided to go with him; since she was worried something bad could happen to Steven and also because she always dreamt with being a bounty hunter or an assassin for hire, and this was the closest chance to achieve her dream.

"Steven, are you sure of this?" Pearl asked, concerned for the uncertain fate of Steven and Connie.

"Don't worry Pearl; we will be back for Christmas…" Steven promised. "And if things go wrong, we can always use the zords Zordon borrowed us…Please, take care of my dad, he still needs a lot of assistance after all the horrible sick shit that happened to him when Clarence took over Beach City… "

Since his red lion zord had been destroyed by Sumo, Mayor Dewey borrowed Steven his blue orca zord and wished him the best of lucks.

"I will go with you, but city needs me now more than ever…" Mayor Dewey said.

"I understand, Mayor Dewey. But you can be sure we will meet again…"

"Godspeed, Steven Universe…"

"Godspeed, Mayor Dewey…"

And with those words, Steven and Connie left the reconstructed Beach City on their zords, starting in that way their crusade to free the world of the evil illuminati. Greg, Pearl, Amethyst, Garnet and the others waved them from the distance, wishing them the best of lucks.

 _If I could begin to be,_

 _Half of what you think of me,_

 _I could do about anything,_

 _I could even learn how to love._

 _When I see the way you act,_

 _Wondering when I'm coming back,_

 _I could do about anything,_

 _I could even learn how to love like you._


End file.
